FAQ Cross-dressing

FAQ means "frequently answer questions". User groups would be asked the same question over and over again. The moderator would post a list of frequently asked questions on there board and referred the members to red the FAQ.
FAQ were copied from the following web sites
http://ladiesknightout.com/CrossdressingFAQs.htm
http://www.gendercentre.org.au/cross_dressing_information.htm
http://lvtgw.jadephoenix.org/Info_htm/General/cdfaq02.htm

Copyright © 2001 by Diane Wilson. All rights reserved.
http://seahorsesoc.org/questions.html
http://ladiesknightout.com/CrossDressingFAQs.htm
http://crossdressersociety.com/crossdressing-faq
http://www.tri-ess.org/cd01.html
http://www.geocities.ws/karenspecial/faq001.html

Questions about Men Cross-dressing
http://lvtgw.jadephoenix.org/Info_htm/General/cdfaq02.htm Copyright © 2001 by Diane Wilson. All rights reserved.

As the word implies, cross-dressing is wearing clothes (dressing: the act of donning clothing and wearing it.) The "cross" comes in when a person goes against the prevailing socially defined stereotype, dons, and wears clothing society says is exclusively for members of the sex opposite to the sex of the person involved. Virtually all people cross dress on occasion. Many people cross-dress with regularity. Both sexes cross-dress. Females cross dress with relative impunity. No one seems to be particularly upset and many think it is “sexy" or just plain "cute" for a female to wear "men's" clothing. Conversely, unless the cross-dressing individual is sufficiently talented to look convincing, a male who cross dresses is in for social disapproval, which can vary from minor to massive. People cross dress for a wide variety of reasons.

Is Cross-dressing New?
http://ladiesknightout.com/CrossdressingFAQs.htm

Throughout recorded history, and in every human culture, there have always been Cross-dressers. In many societies, Cross-dressers have been accepted for the reality they represent and their uniqueness has been utilized by such societies for the common good. It is a culture's attitude to Cross-dressing that determines whether Cross-dressing is or is not a "problem" to that culture. See Wikipedia History of cross-dressing at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_cross-dressing

Why do people cross dress?
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_do_people_cross_dress

Even psychiatrists have a difficult time with this one. They feel that it starts around puberty, but, some male children will experiment dressing up in say their sister's clothing and race around the house and turn out to be full-fledged heterosexual males in years to come. Psychiatrists don't seem to know when it starts or really why and what I am typing out is basically a guesstimate on why men choose to dress up as women: Cross-dressing is another term for transvestism, and this and trans-sexuality and the association of both with homosexuality are often confused, even by some practicing cross-dressers. A typical transvestite would be a man who appears quite normal at all times when he is not cross-dressing. He is not likely to be homosexual, will prefer women as his sex partners and will most certainly not want to lose his penis. In contrast, a typical male transsexual will not identify in any way with his physically normal male body. He believes that he is a woman and is trapped in the body of a man. To him, his penis is a mistake of nature and he will want to get rid of it.

Some men use cross-dressing for the purpose of sexual excitement. It seems that the majority of transvestites are no more likely to go on to trans-sexuality than a social drinker is to alcoholism or an occasional cannabis user to injecting hard drugs. Of course everyone has to start somewhere and there is some evidence to suggest that the longer you cross-dress, the further along the continuum may find yourself moving. After his initial experiences, the transvestite will progress to one of 3 main groups:

He will stay with the type of garments he first used and have a fetish-like attachment to them. His initial preferences will expand and he will slowly move on to other clothes and finally into the wish to be dressed completely as a woman and to pretend for periods of time that he is a woman, but he will not want to go beyond pretending and will wish to retain his male personality. The third group will fringe on trans-sexuality in that they will live and pass as women for extended periods of time. The only real difference between these so-called "secondary" transsexuals and the full transsexual is that, again, like all the less extreme transvestites, they have no wish to actually be women.

WHY DO MEN CROSS-DRESS?

One argument is that transvestism of cross-dressing is a way of offering a challenge to society's preconceptions about gender. Some men cross-dress because they are unhappy at being men. Others didn't mind the male state, but also like to put on women's clothes occasionally. Some men cross-dress simply to make a passing social or fashion statement, and some because they have emotional needs that can only be met by the comfort that wearing women's clothes gives them.

For many transvestites, cross-dressing is an intensely sexual activity. Most transvestites have their first cross-dressing experience around puberty or in adolescence. The first experience is likely to be sexually exciting and the young person will carry on with the practice. However, transvestism is not just a sexual variation. There have always been plenty of men who get a sexual thrill from cross-dressing, but the accepted view of most experts in this field now is that these are not the majority. Sex, particularly with other people is not the main reason why most men cross-dress and will masturbate because they, themselves, are the ideal woman, and the man no longer has to fear rejection, criticism or disappointment which might come with attempts of intercourse with a woman.

Cross-dressers usually will do this in secret and enjoy when the wife and kids leave the home. They have their day planned! They will even go so far as to shave off body hair, take a hot, perfumed, bubble bath, and dress in something silky. Many males will masturbate (why not ... they are male, yet feel like they are a female at the same time.) However, many cross-dressers just enjoy the feel of certain materials against their bodies and go no further than to dress as a woman. More and more cross-dressers are "coming out of the closet" and if lucky, their wives will accept the way they are as long as they keep it private and away from friends and family. Most cross-dressers are private about it and THEY ARE NOT USUALLY GAY.

Why Do People Cross-Dress?

http://lvtgw.jadephoenix.org/Info_htm/General/cdfaq02.htm Copyright © 2001 by Diane Wilson. All rights reserved.


Many "reasons" are given for cross-dressing. Some are simplistic. Some are superficial. Some are simply wrong. In general, the most valid reasons seen have to do with the expression of a personal preference on the part of the cross dresser. Some cross dress for employment reasons, costumes, etc. Some cross dress as a part of their sexual activity (either just for fun or for money) and others cross dress literally to make fun of members of the opposite sex. Those who cross dress and with whom we are interested in Helping Cross-Dresser Anonymous (CHAD) are almost all male, and most are married or have been married. Many have families. These cross dressers dress also for a variety of reasons. The reasons they give vary with the depth of insight and understanding held by the individual concerned. For the most part, at the core of the motivation for most heterosexual cross dressers is an outward expressive manifestation of an inward feeling set. Something innate, natural to the person concerned seeks to find overt expression in the external behavior of the individual. This inner feeling set/external manifestation takes the form of cross-dressing. Such individuals feel a natural preference for feminine clothing in the same manner the typical female feels the need to express her femininity in the choices of clothing she makes. At the core, then, is the fundamental element of the who, what, and how the person is by their nature and the resulting attraction to things feminine. This is an innate attraction, a natural reaching out of the inner person to find visible means of self expression compatible with how, who, and what the person feels self to be inside. It is not generally a sexual thing, or all such individuals would be same sex attracted. Since a majority of cross dressers are not same sex attracted, then it is evident the innate attraction to external symbols of femininity are not sexual in nature, rather they rise from the most basic centers of who, what, and how the person really is by virtue of nature.

Why do men cross-dress?
http://www.crossdressingfreedom.com/crossdressing-opinions/why-do-men-crossdress/

If you want to know, why men cross-dress then read the answers at http://www.crossdressingfreedom.com/crossdressing-opinions/why-do-men-crossdress/ these answers have been taken from a survey that was completed on over 400 men who cross-dress. As you read the list, you may be surprised at some of the reasons but nonetheless it goes to show the complexity of the reasons behind why men choose to wear clothes of the opposite sex.

Another survey by Vernon Coleman listed these interesting results. Coleman made a survey of cross-dressers. The European Medical Journal Special Monograph On Transvestism/Cross-dressing was based on questionnaires which were completed by 414 British males during July and August 1995 and on written communications from over 600 other British males during the same period.
a) Because I like the feeling of women’s clothes: 321 (77%)
b) Because it gives me a sexual kick: 244 (59%)
c) Because it helps me relax and deal with stress: 202 (48%)
d) Because I want to be like a woman: 262 (63%)."

It is very naturally to think that men who cross-dress are Gay or do not enjoy being a man. These assumptions are NOT true for most male cross-dresser.


At Cross-dressing Freedom website a survey was completed by over 400 men who cross-dress. They were asked to complete this statement,


"I Like To Cross-Dress Because?"
http://www.crossdressingfreedom.com/crossdressing-opinions/why-do-men-crossdress/

The results of the survey are interesting. It appears for each cross-dresser there is a different reason why. The results of the survey can be grouped into the following justifications

They impersonate woman for entertainment, Drag Queen
A man with a sexual fetish for feminine clothing.
A man who like to emulate a woman
Dress full time as a woman but does not interested in having an operation
A man who feels he is a woman trapped in a man's body and desires to change by an operation

In another survey of over one thousand cross-dresser, the following associations were reported.

Demographic, Childhood, and Family Variables: 1992 and 1972 data Sexual and Cross-dressing variables
http://www.crossdreamers.com/2010/02/survey-of-crossdressers.html

The fact that most identify as heterosexual, should not come as a surprise. That as many as 29 percent some kind of homosexual experiences probably points to a desire to have sex as a woman.

72 percent report that cross-dressing brings sexual excitement and orgasm occasionally to nearly always. It is fair to say that these probably are autogynephiliacs.

66 percent began cross-dressing before the age of 10. If most of these cross-dressers truly are autogynephiliacs, this means that autogynephilia appears before puberty and is not the result of increased testosterone production in puberty.

A large majority of them believe that they express a different part of themselves when cross-dressing, i.e. they believe they have an innate feminine side.

71 percent have cross-dressed in public, although they do not necessarily do this often. Note that most of the respondents are members of cross-dresser clubs. This may influence their tendency towards going out dressed as women.

Their wives are normally aware of their habit. Only a minority of the wives were told about it before marriage though, even if the number of cross-dressers revealing their condition at an early stage is increasing. Their wives have mixed views about their men's cross-dressing.

Wikipedia states, "Both men and women may cross-dress to disguise their physical sex. Historically, some women have cross-dressed to take up male-dominated or male-exclusive professions, such as military service. Conversely, some men have cross-dressed to escape from mandatory military service or as a disguise to assist in political or social protest, as men did in the Rebecca Riots."

Vanessa Law at Cross-dresser Heaven, http://www.crossdresserheaven.com/ asked the question


"Why do you like to cross-dress" She received the following answers.

· I cross dress because it feels natural, “right”. When I cross-dress, I am less cranky and feel stress relief. I feel complete, liberated, and content.

· I cross dress because I enjoy wearing woman’s clothes, with no particular desire to look or present myself as a woman. It is fun.

· Woman’s clothes are more exciting, prettier, and more colorful.

· I cross dress because I enjoy feeling feminine – presenting me as a woman, behaving likes a woman.

· When I cross dress it’s sexually exciting – I get a thrill out of wearing woman’s clothes

· When I cross dress I’m sexually excited by what I look like wearing woman’s clothes

· I dress because I feel I really am a woman inside, and I am just dressing in the clothes appropriate to my gender.

Wanda Wilson is a psychologist with expertise in cross-dressing and transvestism, who promotes acceptance and understanding of the transgendered community.

Psychology of Cross-dressing - Why Men Wear Dresses?
http://ezinearticles.com/?Psychology-of-Crossdressing---Why-Men-Wear-Dresses&id=3774706

By Wanda Wilson

Thousands of men worldwide are, at this very moment, putting on their pantyhose, dresses, makeup, and high heels, trying to look as pretty and as feminine as they can. The sight of a grown man wearing a dress, in many societies is considered odd, or unusual, and may even be a cause for ridicule. This phenomenon is often misunderstood, and often yields the question, "Why would men want to wear clothing of the opposite sex?" "Are these men perverted, or crazy?" "Are they gay?"

First, let me assure you that this phenomenon occurs in all the countries of the world, and is often referred to as transvestism, or cross-dressing. Transvestism is defined as "the practice of dressing and behaving like the opposite sex." Men, who choose to dress as females, come from all ethnic groups, and from all occupations.

Furthermore, they are neither perverted, nor crazy. These individuals could be your next-door neighbor, your boss, or even your brother. The man sitting next to you at church could be wearing panties and a garter belt under his clothes for all you know. Cross-dressing is actually quite common, but it is most often done in private or as a secret that is hidden from others. Although, more and more men are "coming out" and dressing "en femme." In fact, there are conventions where males of different ages and backgrounds, get together to enjoy the freedom of dressing and socializing as females. These conventions may draw hundreds of cross-dressings.

Why would men do this, you might ask? Well, the fact of the matter is that they choose to cross-dress for many reasons. The reasons vary according to the individual.

One common reason that men choose to cross-dress, is for sexual gratification. They may be sexually exited with the feel of the feminine fabrics and clothing on their body. They may enjoy the sexual excitement that they experience from wearing feminine clothing, and in seeing their feminine image.

Another reason for cross-dressing, is that men want to feel free to express the feminine side of their personality. Boys are commonly socialized to believe that they cannot portray feminine traits. They cannot cry, appear weak, or be soft. Males who dress in female clothing often feel liberated to express their emotions that perhaps, they are not able freely to express as themselves. For at least a few moments, they can shed the burdens and responsibilities of being a "man." Often, this results in feelings of comfort, and reduced stress. Men wear dresses because it feels good.

Perhaps a reason for cross-dressing is one that is not often expressed, but is one that I believe is common. The reason that men wear dresses, is to feel and experience the "power of a woman." What power is this? It is the power of a beautiful woman to be able to turn the heads of all the men as she enters the room. It is the power that lingerie models have when they appear on television, and spontaneously create a sensation in the groins of thousands of the men who are watching. It is the power to choose who will get their attention, and perhaps who will mate with them. It is a power that is biologically linked and has allowed the human race to propagate.

One reason that men cross-dress is to feel this power, and to experience what it is to have the attributes that create this power. This may be similar to the man who puts on the power suit and expensive shoes, sits behind a big desk in the office on the twentieth floor overlooking the city, pretending he is the chief executive officer of a multi-million dollar corporation. He pretends for a day to be the top man, the millionaire corporate mogul who makes the choices. People open doors for him, bring him coffee, and open their wallets for him. This is "power" and it is very stimulating and intoxicating.

Women are also very powerful. Women are very powerful, sexually. They know this, and men know this. It is equally stimulating and intoxicating to experience this type of power for a day. Even if it is only for a moment, and within the man's head, it is a beautiful feeling to feel "sexy" and "feminine." Power as we all know, is an aphrodisiac. This is why men wear dresses, and why this practice has occurred for centuries.

Unfortunately, in many societies cross-dressing, especially male to female, is often still a taboo. A man wearing a dress or other feminine attire in public is often the subject of ridicule. It is the purpose of this article to create acceptance, and to portray cross-dressing as a normal practice that occurs throughout the world and in many cultures.

When Do Men Usually Start Dressing Up?

Cross-dressers usually start dressing up as a child or in their teens. In very few cases, it can start later on in life.

From a survey of cross-dresser, this question was asked. "How old were you when you first started wearing women's clothes?"

Answers, Votes, Percent
1. 5-8 Years Old, 2984 34%
2. 9-12 Years Old, 2962 34%
3. 13-15 Years Old, 1491 17%
4. 16-20 Years Old, 375 4%
5. In My 20's, 334 4%
6. In My 30's, 211 2%
7. Over 40, 429 5%
Total Votes: 8786, Clearly over 75% by the age of 15

What Does A Man Get From Cross-Dressing?
If you ask a hundred men the prime reason for their cross-dressing, the vast majority would say that it enables them to relax and get away from the stresses of modern life. A number would say that they get sexual satisfaction from cross-dressing, and for some it is a combination of the two. The problem with the use of cross-dressing to obtain sexual satisfaction is that it causes further problems. Why? As a man climaxes, whether self-induced by masturbation or in a gay or male-female relationship, the male hormones take over the mind. This produces a strong ‘maleness’, which in turn produces a huge feeling of guilt and distaste to the transsexual about the female clothes that he is now wearing. This destroys all the gains that have been made from the relaxation gained by the initial dressing. The feeling of 'wrongness' can be extreme to say the least. In the right circumstances, cross-dressing can be a remarkable stress reliever.

How many men does it affect?

There are some 6,000 postoperative transsexual people in the UK of which around 4,500 are T2F (Trans to Female) and some 1,500 T2M (Trans to Male). If you add to that the estimated 10,000 transsexual people who have not yet completed transition and the probable 15,000 to 17,000 who are still fighting and denying their true status then the figures become more realistic, 1 in 1250 for T2F and 1 in 3750 for T2M. Most transsexual people consider themselves; quite correctly; to have been born transgendered and therefore the more commonly used terms of M2F and F2M are perhaps nowadays a little ‘politically incorrect’.

Another resource estimates it is now commonly believed that as many as one in fifteen men have transvestite tendencies.

A Guide to Gender Dysphasia
– © Emma Michelle Martin and Elevated Therapy - Oct '99 (updated Feb '00)

Caroline Devilries a geriatric cross-dresser or transvestite has written the following:

Admittedly, I have read a report which claimed that as many as 50% of men have, at some time or another, dressed partly or completely in women’s clothes, but insufficient information was given to enable one to check the veracity of the claim. Other estimates I have seen put the number of occasional or regular cross-dressers at around 10% of the male population in most developed countries, but again there was insufficient information on how this figure was arrived at. However, some of the literature puts the number as low as 1-2%, though even in those reports there was no indication how these figures were calculated.
© Caroline Devilries 2008

Is Cross-dressing Illegal or Immoral?

According to Oakland's Code of Ordinances, your style is illegal. Immoral Dress Code 9.08.080 has been in place since 1879: “It is unlawful for any person in the city to appear in any public place nude or in the attire of a person of the opposite sex, or in any indecent or lewd attire.”

At wiki answers web site:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_crossdressing_illegal Is cross-dressing in the UK illegal was posted. The answer was no. It is illegal to wear a costume or disguise to elude legal pursuit by police or to hide your identity as to avoid legal prosecution. It may be illegal to use the bathroom of the opposite sex (even if you are dressed) and even if it is not specifically illegal.

Most of the Christian religions believe cross-dressing is a sin. Almost every cross dresser that is also a Christian knows in their heart that God made them the way they are. Yet when actions run contrary to beliefs, there is internal conflict, which manifests as guilt or shame. So, a cross dresser that has been told that God is against cross-dressing because it says so in the Bible gets confused. Those who say this do not realize that the Bible actually says nothing about cross-dressing except in one passage of scripture in Deuteronomy.

If you would like to explore a more positive interruption of the Christian beliefs go to http://ladiesknightout.com/CrossDressing_And_The_Bible.htm. This site looks at the Bible from an objective analysis and the detail supplied here is based upon a great deal of research from some of the top Biblical scholars and Biblical translations that exist.

Ok Then, Do Men Who Cross-dress Actually Want To Be Women?

Not necessarily. Wearing women's clothing is not always an indication of a man's sexuality. Some men just like the feel of the clothing on their skin. They feel somehow comforted when the slip on a nice pair of pantyhose or a satin bra. It could be that they are missing something from their childhood and these items bring back a sense of security or comfort. Perhaps they have high stress jobs with a lot of responsibility, and the feel of a silky slip reminds them of being comforted by their mother when they were young and had no responsibility. Alternatively, it could just be that they like pantyhose! Many men are perfectly happy with their male bodies and their male sexuality. The clothing they put on over that body has no effect on their sexual preference or the desire to change their gender.

On the other hand, some males who cross-dress do so because they truly do want to become women. They may feel that although they were born with male bodies, that their personality is female, and they may have had these instincts and desires for as long as they can remember... including the earliest memories of their childhood. These men should most often be referred to as 'transgendered' and not just 'cross-dressers', although many times they are grouped together by the general public due to lack of knowledge and understanding. Which is unfortunate, because one of the main things a transgender or cross-dresser needs is a little understanding from those around him?

So What Kind Of A Guy Would Wear a Dress?

All kinds. There are cross-dressers in every occupation... I have had the privilege of speaking to cross-dressing men of all types throughout the years, and in every profession, including doctors, lawyers, bankers, politicians, professional sports players, CEO's of big corporations, fast-food restaurant managers, garbage collectors, schoolteachers, you name it! In addition, they are always comforted when I let them know that they are not alone in their secrets. You may be shocked if you were given x-ray glasses for just one day and discovered how many men in your daily life are wearing panties and/or bras underneath those business suits.

Why do they do it? Why do men wear women’s clothes?

Typically, a man will have their first cross-dressing experience as a child, adolescent or a teenager. They might sneak into their mother’s closet and try on her bra or her panties. They might get into their sister’s closet and try on one of her dresses. For some reason these boys have a strong curiosity about females and their clothing. They discover that it feels good.

As these boys become men, they may not cross-dress for years, and then suddenly their urge arises. At this time, they may suppress these urges due to relationships and circumstances at the time, or they may indulge them. They might dress in secret, or openly, passing as a woman.

There is no one reason as to “why they do it?” Men cross-dress for various reasons. Some wear women’s clothes because it “feels good.” They like looking and feeling pretty. They like the feel of the satin or lace against their body. They like the feeling of their hairless body.

Another reason that men cross-dress is that it reduces stress. When they are in women’s clothes, it is as if a huge weight has been lifted off their shoulders. They feel “peaceful.” Moreover, it liberates them from the masculine role. They can express feelings, giggle, and even cry freely.

Some men also experience a sexual thrill when they are dressed and looking like a sexy woman. As soon as they put on their panties, silicone breasts, makeup and wig, they will experience a raging erection. They may culminate the experience with masturbation to orgasm. However, not all cross-dressers do it to get a sexual thrill.

Finally, some men will cross-dress simply because it feels right. It satisfies their need to express their feminine side. The visual personification of a woman is congruent with how they feel inside. If they are not allowed to, dress they may experience what is called “gender dysphoria”, which is basic discomfort with the socially prescribed gender role. Dressing as a woman reduces that discomfort.

Who are cross-dressers?

Helen Boyd writes in her book, ‘My Husband Betty,’ “those cross-dressers come from all walks of life, are all ages and races. There are cross-dressers in finance, government, engineering, and other high status jobs. Cross-dressers drive trucks, make deliveries, and fix faucets. They act and write. They belong to the Republican and Democratic parties, or vote Independent. They are heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual. Some are single, while others enjoy long-term marriages or suffer multiple divorces. Many raise children. Some have substance abuse problems, and others have never taken a drink.” I highly recommend this book for “significant others.”

What Types of People Cross-dress?
http://ladiesknightout.com/CrossdressingFAQs.htm

Cross-dressers come from all occupations, races, creeds, and economic backgrounds. The phenomenon dates back many thousands of years. In some cultures, especially some Native American tribes, they were highly respected as shamans. Most cross-dressers are well educated and come from conventional family backgrounds. The vast majority is heterosexual and most are, or have been, married. Most are happy in their masculinity, and only a small percentage opts to live as women full time. A few women are cross-dressers, but they are much less frequent than males. No doubt, this is due to the Freedom Our Society Grants to Women in Matters of Dressing and Self-Expression.

How often do cross-dressers need to dress up?

Some men will need to dress every day and may even go out in public fully dressed as a female. Some men will dress regularly but only in private. Other men will not dress for years, then suddenly they feel the urge arise and will begin to dress. Still others, never completely dress up en femme, they may only wear panties under their male clothing and will be satisfied.

What causes men to cross-dress?

This is not a simple question to answer. Men cross-dress for many reasons resulting from inside factor and outside factors. A inside factor would be that they were born the wrong sex. Another inside factor is they do not wish to be identified by the opposite sex. Outside factors would be the conditioning to enjoy the pleasure of wearing woman cloths, or a need for sexual gratification.

Some men start cross-dressing when they are young. Some boys are forced to cross-dress as a form of punishment (reported as influence but not proven), other boys who have older sisters or the house has a lack of a male figure will identify with the Marjory of the house and will secretly try what he sees others do. Stockings were washed, dried within eyesight, and touching. Bra and panties were mixed with his clothing allowing a boy to touch and feel feminine items of clothing. About the age of puberty he may not started to cross-dress. He does look for fantasies that heighten his sexual desire. It might be and accident or something he saw or was told but he uses an article of female clothing to masturbate. He experiences a climax associating the woman cloths touch him. A favored article of clothing may become erotic and may be used habitually, first in masturbation, and later in intercourse. Abnormal preference of sexual “objects” is fetishism, reliance on inanimate objects, e.g. clothing or shoes, for arousal and gratification. It becomes Fetishistic Transvestism when wearing of clothes of the opposite sex to obtain sexual excitement.

In 1995, the author and cross-dressing Vernon Coleman made a survey of cross-dressers.

It was based on questions from 1,000 British males Coleman belong to the cross-dressers who think there is no connection between cross-dressing and transsexualism. I think there is such a connection, although I understand his point about there being a big difference between the cross-dressing who has no wish to become a woman for real, and the transsexuals who are driven by a gender identity dysphoria.

WHAT CROSS-DRESSERS ARE NOT ?
http://www.tri-ess.org/cd01.html

While the vast majority of cross-dressers are ordinary heterosexual men with an additional feminine dimension, they are stereotyped by society based on a highly visible minority who cross-dress for entirely different reasons. Drag queens are usually gay or bisexual males who don women’s clothes either to mock femininity and society’s stereotypes of gays, or to find sex partners. Female impersonators dress to entertain. Transsexuals believe they are entrapped in the body of the opposite sex, and seek sexual reassignment surgery.

Do cross-dressers take female hormones and want to change their sex?
http://crossdressersociety.com/crossdressing-faq

In almost all cases no. In very few instances do cross-dressing men progress to a sex change unless they are latent Transsexuals.

Why do they start dressing up at a young age?
http://crossdressersociety.com/crossdressing-faq

Probably out of a sense of childlike curiosity. With some, their sisters or a baby sitter may have dressed them up as girls either for fun or punishment. With some it is purely a fantasy. Dressing can relieve the stress involved in living up to the perceived male role model as a tough, problem solver. Pretending to be a girl may provide him with a release from male peer pressures. Many times cross-dressers will start dressing up in lingerie or silky clothing, like pantyhose or stockings purely for the feeling of the fabrics on their body.

Cross-dressing in many cases, will progress as time goes by to include complete dressing up, applying makeup and wigs, even mimicking female walking and talking.

Why did his dressing come back after a long time?
http://crossdressersociety.com/crossdressing-faq

In the mid-twenties and later social and economic pressures start to surface. Children, a mortgage, car payments, and education worries can play a role. Undoubtedly the biggest factor though is his job. Career matters at work intensify as peers are promoted even including him. Pressures of family life and losing the newness of a relationship all can contribute to his cross-dressing. As the stress builds up, the deep memories of his cross-dressing resurfaces as it relieved stress and the daily pressures in the past.

Are there different types of crossdressers?
http://www.geocities.ws/karenspecial/faq001.html

While with the exception of the transsexual, all men who don feminine clothes can be termed as cross-dressers in the general sense, a number of other terms are used today to more closely define cross-dressers by their reason for cross-dressing.

Female Impersonator
The female impersonator is a person whose prime reason for cross-dressing is employment. They have perfected their cross-dressing into a performing art. It is interesting to note that the late James Cagney got his start in show business as a female impersonator.

Fetish
The fetish is a person who is sexually aroused by the wearing of certain articles of feminine clothing. Unlike the average crossdresser, the fetish will not dress completely, and will only dress when they wish sexual arousal. In some cases the true fetish may not even become aroused unless wearing the article of feminine clothes that gives him pleasure.

Femmiphile
This is the most common form of crossdresser. In it’s simplicity, the femmiphile is a person who has a love for what our society considers to be feminine and a very strong desire to associate themselves with the feminine. Femmiphiles have high admiration for the female and wish to emulate them as much as possible.

Transgenderist
Unlike the average crossdresser who will spend most of his time in the masculine role, a transgenderist is a person who lives and works in the cross-gendered role full-time. Unlike the transsexual, he is content with his male organs and does not plan surgery to remove them.

Transsexual
While often confused with the crossdresser, transsexuals are NOT considered to be cross-dressers. Unlike cross-dressers who recognize themselves as males with a feminine part to them, the transsexual is a person who is psychologically a member of one sex, and physiologically a member of the opposite sex. Unlike the crossdresser, the transsexual cannot be content unless the physiological body is surgically altered to be congruent with the psychological person who occupies that body. While cross-dressing for personality expression is far more common in masculine to feminine form, transsexualism is about equally common in female to male as it is in male to female.

UNDERSTANDING THE "WOMAN WITHIN"
http://www.tri-ess.org/cd01.html

There is within each man a set of personality potentials that are part of his birthright, but that society labels as “feminine” and says he should suppress. Cross-dressers have made contact with these potentials and found their expression fulfilling. Integrating these into their whole personalities, cross-dressers are able to smooth off some of the macho rough edges programmed by their upbringing. The result is a happier, healthier whole person.

http://www.vernoncoleman.com/andwhydosome.htm
Vernon Colman comments
Few activities seem to attract more venom and contempt than cross-dressing.

One newspaper writer who found out that her ex-husband was a cross-dressing described him as a `pervert' and dumped a pile of her own old clothes on his mother's doorstep to make her point.

What inspires this level of anger among so many women? Fear, I suppose. However, fear of what? Fear of the competition for the underwear drawer? Fear that he might be gay? Fear that he will stretch everything and ruin her tights? Fear that the neighbors will find out?

Dressing up in the sort of clothes usually worn by women is one of the most harmless activities imaginable and yet it is one of the most socially misunderstood.

Lots of men dress up - as freemasons, soldiers or special constables - and transvestism is just a fun variation on the dressing up theme but our society has developed in such a way that what we choose to wear does, to a very large extent, define what we are, who we are and what others think of us.

The judge wears a gown and a wig. The priest wears a gown. The bishop wears a particularly fine gown. Kings wear robes and crowns. Hotel porters, car park attendants, railway staff, airline flight attendants and people in a thousand other different types of employment wear clothes that help identify them. Plumbers wear overalls. Doctors wear white coats. Nurses wear uniforms.

As our society becomes more and more complex, so the uniforms become increasingly important. We define people by whether they have `white collar' or `blue collar' jobs.

Men who cross-dress are throwing an enormous spanner into the works of this finely balanced piece of social machinery. It is, perhaps, hardly surprising that cross-dressing produces so much confusion, bewilderment and resentment and so many pejorative remarks.

Despite the popularity of transvestism, hardly anything is known about this `hobby' - other than the fact that many men do it. (Many women cross-dress too but transvestism among women is socially accepted. Millions of women regularly wear trousers and suits.).

The idea of men in clothes usually worn by women may sound like a joke. However, it is not. Putting on female clothes is, for thousands of men, the best way to deal with stress and escape from the responsibilities of being a man. `If I did not cross-dress,' one man told me, `I'd be dead. I had high blood pressure, which pills could not control. Wearing feminine clothing brought my blood pressure under control.'

Precise figures are difficult to obtain but my research shows that in an average week 100,000 in every 1,000,000 men dress - for some of the time - in something soft, silky or frilly. Often they just wear a camisole and panties underneath their male clothes.

Most cross-dressers live in constant fear of being found out. Around a quarter of male transvestites have never dared share their secret with their wives. That means that around the world millions of women are married to transvestites - and do not know it. In every million women, there will be around 25,000 who are unknowingly married to (or living with) transvestites.

Transvestism crosses all social and professional barriers. Your best friend, your golf partner, your doctor, your boss or your husband could be a secret transvestite. The chances are high that someone you know well is a cross-dressing.

Here are some facts I uncovered in a survey of 1014 British transvestites: (It is, I think, the biggest ever survey of cross-dressers.)

* Well over three-quarters of all transvestites regularly wear the sort of underwear worn by women under their male clothing. Many of the rest would do so if they were not frightened of being found out by wives.

* Less than half of all transvestites go out of their homes fully dressed as women and most of these are honest enough to admit that they do not fool anyone. However, for most this is not important. They want to dress in the sort of clothes worn by women - not become women.

* Transvestism must be one of the most harmless hobbies. Yet nearly three-quarters of male transvestites admit that they live in constant fear of being found out by prejudiced relatives, neighbors or employers. One man who wrote to me to help with my survey drove to a nearby town to post his anonymous letter. Many say they do not understand why women can wear male clothing - but men cannot wear female clothes.

* Some wives are scornful and dismissive. Others are patronizing and refuse to try to understand. Repeatedly I have read pitiful letters from transvestites whose wives `allow' them to dress for one hour a week - as long as they do it in secret.

* Three-quarters of all transvestites' partners know that the man in their lives dresses in women's clothing. However, a quarter of partners do not know.

* There is a good reason for the secrecy since most wives or girlfriends who know about their partner's cross-dressing disapprove. They miss a lot of fun by being so selfish, narrow-minded and disapproving.

* Happily, just over a third of wives and girlfriends actively help their men dress as women by helping with makeup and clothes. Many women admit they get a sexual turn on from seeing their male partner in silky, feminine clothes. It is common for transvestites whose partners do approve to have sex while dressed as a woman.

* The vast majority of transvestites are heterosexual.

* The average transvestite spends 12 hours a week dressed as a woman - but would like to spend 70 hours a week (rather more than half the `waking' week) dressed in feminine clothes.

* A growing number of men have discovered that putting on stockings and a frock is the quickest way to escape from the stressful responsibilities of being a man. I have little doubt that more men would live longer if transvestism were more widely accepted.

I believe that transvestism is one of the least harmful of all hobbies and one that no man should feel ashamed of. It is, I believe, a perfectly acceptable way for any man to escape from the day to day stresses of being a man in a stressful world. It is fun and clearly gives many men a great deal of pleasure and it is difficult to think of any activity, which is less likely to do harm to anyone.

Men who dress in women's' clothes bring out a normal, healthy part of their own femininity, broaden their outlook on life and enjoy a temporary respite from the responsibilities and demands of being male.

I am always sad to read of the number of women who do not accept their husband is cross-dressing. Time after time, I have opened letters from men whose wives have treated them horrendously badly.

I think it is appalling that any woman should have the nerve to say to her partner: `Oh, well if you must then I suppose you must - but you can only do it for an hour a week and you must make sure that the curtains are drawn and that I'm well out of the house and by the way I don't want to see any sign of your silly women's clothing and so on when I get back.'

No woman would, I hope, dare say anything like this to a man who took up golf or model making.

I think it is sad that transvestism should be regarded as so much more horrendous than anything else - though I believe that deep-seated and false prejudices are probably at the root of it all.

Many women probably assume that most transvestites are either homosexual or else candidates for sex change surgery.

However, overall, there is a huge difference between transvestites and transsexuals. Transsexuals are like golfers - they lose their balls. Transvestites are keen to keep theirs.

My survey has made it clear that the vast majority of transvestites are heterosexual and happy to be men. (Curiously, cross-dressing is so misunderstood and commonly reviled that some women would doubtless prefer it if they found out that their husband was gay or wanted to change sex.)

The full results of my survey into cross-dressing appear in my book `Men in Dresses', which appears in full on this website.

The previous paragraphs Copyright Vernon Coleman 2004