Below are jokes from the internet. Sorry if you are offended by them.
Cindy
"A Male-To-Female" joke
A
male-to-female transexual was recently interviewed on a radio talk show.
The DJ asked
the transexual about what, if any, pain the person experienced during the
operation. The transexual replied, "Well, when they cut my penis off,
that really didn't hurt too much. Even when they implanted the breasts in
my chest, well, that really didn't hurt too much either...." "Then
you didn't experience any real physical pain at all then?" "Hell
no! It hurt like hell when they stuck that big fucking needle in my head
and sucked out all my brains and then cut my salary in half!"
Routine circumcision
A man was
experiencing chronic infections so he took his urologist's advice and entered
the hospital for a routine circumcision. When he came to, he was perturbed to
see a large group of doctors standing around his hospital bed.
What's up doc?" he asked nervously.
"Uh, well ... there's been a bit of a mix-up," admitted his surgeon. "I'm afraid that instead of a circumcision, we performed a sex-change operation on you. You now have a very nice vagina instead of a penis."
"What?!?!" gasped the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another erection?"
"Oh, I'm sure you will," reassured the doctor, "only it'll be somebody else's."
What's up doc?" he asked nervously.
"Uh, well ... there's been a bit of a mix-up," admitted his surgeon. "I'm afraid that instead of a circumcision, we performed a sex-change operation on you. You now have a very nice vagina instead of a penis."
"What?!?!" gasped the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another erection?"
"Oh, I'm sure you will," reassured the doctor, "only it'll be somebody else's."
Couple and anniversary
A couple
were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary
when the wife says, "Darling, as this is such a special occasion, I think
that it is time I made a confession. Before we were married I was a hooker for
eight years."
The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says, "My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years, I cannot hold your past against you, in fact maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit?"
She said, "No, I don't think you understand - my name was Brian and I played rugby for Wales."
The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says, "My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years, I cannot hold your past against you, in fact maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit?"
She said, "No, I don't think you understand - my name was Brian and I played rugby for Wales."
Man and hooker
In Las
Vegas, a man finds himself in a hotel; he didn't want to be alone in the room,
so he calls a hooker. The hooker arrived, the first thing that she said was
"I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $500, and that's for
a hand job." The hooker points out in the window, and pointing to an
expansive Mercedes, and said, " see that? I own that because of what I can
do with my hands."
He was surprised, but what the hell, he did it anyway, which turns out to be a fantastic blowjob.
So he said, "How much do you get for pussy?" then the women replies "Do you see the hotel sitting there on the corner? I could own that if I had a pussy!"
He was surprised, but what the hell, he did it anyway, which turns out to be a fantastic blowjob.
So he said, "How much do you get for pussy?" then the women replies "Do you see the hotel sitting there on the corner? I could own that if I had a pussy!"
Doctor and patient
A woman went
to her doctor complaining about being totally hairless. The doctor quickly
prescribes a comprehensive hormone treatment and asks her to come back in three
months.
When she returns, she was complaining that her body was now totally covered in hair.
"You must have given me the wrong pills," she told the doctor, "I now have hair on my back and even on my chest!"
"How far down does the hair on your chest go?" asked the doctor.
"All the way down to my dick!" the woman replied.
When she returns, she was complaining that her body was now totally covered in hair.
"You must have given me the wrong pills," she told the doctor, "I now have hair on my back and even on my chest!"
"How far down does the hair on your chest go?" asked the doctor.
"All the way down to my dick!" the woman replied.
Blow Job and the jumper
A guy is
hiking up a mountain when he notices a girl standing at the edge of a cliff,
crying profusely. "Hey," he says, "if you’re going to jump,
how about giving me a blow job before you do it?"
"My life’s been nothing but crap," says the girl. "So I might as well."
After the girl’s done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great. Why are you so depressed, anyway?"
The girl replies, "My family disowned me for dressing like a woman."
"My life’s been nothing but crap," says the girl. "So I might as well."
After the girl’s done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great. Why are you so depressed, anyway?"
The girl replies, "My family disowned me for dressing like a woman."
Sex or swim
Mike walks
into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with a great big smile on
his face. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so happy for?"
"Well Mike, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me.. tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'"
I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Mike. I took her way out. I turned off the key and I said 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Mike. She couldn't swim!"
The next day Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with an even bigger smile on his face. Mike says, "What are you happy about today Pat?"
"Well Mike.... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me...tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'
I told her, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Mike. Way the fuck out there. Much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Mike! She couldn't swim!"
A couple days pass and Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat down there cryin' over a beer. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so sad for?"
"Well Mike, I gotta tell ya....Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me...tits WAY out to here, Mike. Tits WAY out to here. She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'
So I said, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Mike, way WAY out... much, much further than the last two times. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'It's either screw or swim!'
She pulled down her pants and...She had a pecker, Mike! She had this great BIG pecker! And I can't swim Mike! I can't swim!"
"Well Mike, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me.. tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'"
I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Mike. I took her way out. I turned off the key and I said 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Mike. She couldn't swim!"
The next day Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with an even bigger smile on his face. Mike says, "What are you happy about today Pat?"
"Well Mike.... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me...tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'
I told her, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Mike. Way the fuck out there. Much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Mike! She couldn't swim!"
A couple days pass and Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat down there cryin' over a beer. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so sad for?"
"Well Mike, I gotta tell ya....Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me...tits WAY out to here, Mike. Tits WAY out to here. She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'
So I said, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Mike, way WAY out... much, much further than the last two times. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'It's either screw or swim!'
She pulled down her pants and...She had a pecker, Mike! She had this great BIG pecker! And I can't swim Mike! I can't swim!"
Man on golf course
A fellow has
a week off from work and decides to play a round of golf every day.
irst thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, in fact, she's very attractive. He's interested and suggests that they play the rest of the round together.
irst thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, in fact, she's very attractive. He's interested and suggests that they play the rest of the round together.
She agrees
and a very close match ensues. She turns out also to be a very talented golfer
and she wins their little competition on the last hole. He congratulates her in
the parking lot, then offers to give her a lift when he sees she doesn't have a
car. All in all it's been a highly enjoyable morning.
On the way to her place, she thanks him for the morning's company and competition and says she hasn't enjoyed herself so much on the course for a long time. He pulls up to her house, they kiss and she shows him her appreciation.
The next morning he spies her at the first tee and suggests they play together again. He's actually quite competitive and slightly pissed that she beat him the previous day. Again they have a magnificent day, enjoying each others company and playing a tight competitive round of golf.
Again she beats him at the last hole, again he drives her home and again she shows her appreciation.
This goes on all week, with her beating him narrowly every day. This is a sore point for his male ego but, nevertheless, in the car home from their Friday afternoon round, he tells her that he has had such a fine week that he has a surprise planned: dinner for two at a fancy candle-lit restaurant followed by a night of passion in the penthouse apartment of a city hotel. Surprisingly, she bursts into tears and says she can't agree to this. He can't figure out what the fuss is about, but eventually she admits the reason.
"You see," she tearfully sobs, "I'm a transvestite."
He is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, pulls the car to a screeching halt and curses madly, overcome with emotion.
"I'm sorry," she repeats.
"You bastard," he screams, red in the face, "You cheating bastard. You've been playing off the women's tees all week!!"
On the way to her place, she thanks him for the morning's company and competition and says she hasn't enjoyed herself so much on the course for a long time. He pulls up to her house, they kiss and she shows him her appreciation.
The next morning he spies her at the first tee and suggests they play together again. He's actually quite competitive and slightly pissed that she beat him the previous day. Again they have a magnificent day, enjoying each others company and playing a tight competitive round of golf.
Again she beats him at the last hole, again he drives her home and again she shows her appreciation.
This goes on all week, with her beating him narrowly every day. This is a sore point for his male ego but, nevertheless, in the car home from their Friday afternoon round, he tells her that he has had such a fine week that he has a surprise planned: dinner for two at a fancy candle-lit restaurant followed by a night of passion in the penthouse apartment of a city hotel. Surprisingly, she bursts into tears and says she can't agree to this. He can't figure out what the fuss is about, but eventually she admits the reason.
"You see," she tearfully sobs, "I'm a transvestite."
He is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, pulls the car to a screeching halt and curses madly, overcome with emotion.
"I'm sorry," she repeats.
"You bastard," he screams, red in the face, "You cheating bastard. You've been playing off the women's tees all week!!"
An old man
is just back from Thailand with his new Thai bride.
Lying in bed, his new bride is playing with his manhood slowly stroking it up and down. The old man says, "You must love that, you haven't left it alone since we got back."
The bride sighed wistfully and replied, "Not really...I just really miss mine."
Lying in bed, his new bride is playing with his manhood slowly stroking it up and down. The old man says, "You must love that, you haven't left it alone since we got back."
The bride sighed wistfully and replied, "Not really...I just really miss mine."
A guy and hooker
A guy walked
up to a hooker and asked how much she wanted for a hand job.
"$100!" she replied.
"Fucking hell!" replied the guy, "That's a bit rich isn't it?"
"See that Porsche parked over there?" said the hooker, "I own it because I give the best hand jobs in town!"
The guy thought this was OK and agreed on the price. The hand job went on for hours. The guy loved it so much that he asked how much it would cost for a blowjob.
"$250!" replied the hooker.
"Fucking hell," said the guy, "That's a bit rich isn't it?"
"See that block of apartments behind the Porsche?" replied the hooker, "I paid for that with cash because I give the best head jobs in town!"
"Wow," said the guy, "I'll give that a go as well!"
When the pro finished the best blowjob he had ever had, he asked the hooker how much it would cost for the real thing.
"Well," replied the hooker, "You see that big factory behind the apartment block?"
"Yeah!" said the guy excitedly, "I see them!"
"Well," the hooker sighed, "That would be mine if I had a pussy!"
"$100!" she replied.
"Fucking hell!" replied the guy, "That's a bit rich isn't it?"
"See that Porsche parked over there?" said the hooker, "I own it because I give the best hand jobs in town!"
The guy thought this was OK and agreed on the price. The hand job went on for hours. The guy loved it so much that he asked how much it would cost for a blowjob.
"$250!" replied the hooker.
"Fucking hell," said the guy, "That's a bit rich isn't it?"
"See that block of apartments behind the Porsche?" replied the hooker, "I paid for that with cash because I give the best head jobs in town!"
"Wow," said the guy, "I'll give that a go as well!"
When the pro finished the best blowjob he had ever had, he asked the hooker how much it would cost for the real thing.
"Well," replied the hooker, "You see that big factory behind the apartment block?"
"Yeah!" said the guy excitedly, "I see them!"
"Well," the hooker sighed, "That would be mine if I had a pussy!"
Sex Change
John, who is
now Jean, is walking down the street after a sex-change operation has
transformed him into a beautiful woman.
His old friend Pete sees him and says, "John, I mean, Jean, you look great...you're beautiful!"
Jean says, "Thanks...but holy Christ, did it hurt."
Pete says, "When they cut open your chest and put in those implants?"
Jean says, "No, that didn't really hurt."
Pete says, "When they cut off your dick and dug out a vagina?"
Jean says, "No, that didn't really hurt."
Pete says, "Then what did hurt?"
Jean says, "When the doctor drilled a fucking hole in my head and sucked out half my brain."
His old friend Pete sees him and says, "John, I mean, Jean, you look great...you're beautiful!"
Jean says, "Thanks...but holy Christ, did it hurt."
Pete says, "When they cut open your chest and put in those implants?"
Jean says, "No, that didn't really hurt."
Pete says, "When they cut off your dick and dug out a vagina?"
Jean says, "No, that didn't really hurt."
Pete says, "Then what did hurt?"
Jean says, "When the doctor drilled a fucking hole in my head and sucked out half my brain."
Ask a question
After a long
night of making love, this guy rolls over, looks and notices a framed picture
of another man on the nightstand by the bed. Naturally, the guy begins to
worry.
"Is
this your husband?" he inquires nervously.
"No,
silly." she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your
boyfriend then?" he asks.
"No,
not at all," she whispers, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it
your dad or your brother?" he asks, hoping to be reassured.
"No,
no, no!!!" she says.
"Well
who is he then?" demands the bewildered guy.
Calmly the
girl replies, "That's me before the surgery."
Transvestite question
A boy goes up to his father. "Daddy, what's a transvestite?"
"Go ask your mom," he replies. "HE should be able to explain it better."
"Go ask your mom," he replies. "HE should be able to explain it better."
Wife and CD male
A
crossdressers wife asks: "Honey do I look fat in this?"
The crossdressing male husband answers: "Why no, sweetums your body looks absolutely gorgeous in that dress. We both know who really looks fat and ugly in a dress, don't we?"
Again: Wife: "Honey do I look good in this?"
CD male: "Of course you do, doll. I picked it out for you. I only wish I could wear it sometimes with as much style, grace, and dignity as you do."
Wife: "Thank you, darling but why can't you?"
CD male:"It's a little thing called testosterone. I can never be as pretty as you physically. It's really a drag."
Wife: "Aww...that's really too bad for my sissy isn't it?"
CD male: "Yeah...but that same hormone makes me crazy in love with you and drives our good sex life."
Wife: "So what's the problem?"
CD male: "I find my interior chemistry hard to balance sometimes...you know positives and negatives, that kind of thing."
Wife: "You have my full support and I understand your lament."
CD male: "Really?"
Wife: "Yes... (in a sexy voice) and you should know I was always good with chemistry."
CD male is watching a college football game with other "macho males."
Male#1: "Man Rich Rod's offense is really taking flight this year."
Secret CD male: "Yeah it's good to have a quarterback who can finally handle the system. Denard Robinson has great vision and open field speed and Tate has lpotentlypotental as well."
Male #2: "I can't wait for the Big Ten season to start, it should be exciting."
CD male: "Got that right."
Wife comes in
Wife: "Sorry guys just droping off snacks and btw honey thanks for our outing last night. I really needed it. You're so thoughtful." (Smiles and stares quickly at the shoes she wearing that he's bought after watching a chick flick.)
(Beat of silence) CD male: "Damn it woman! Your welcome, but not now! Not in the middle of my game! This isn't the time!"
Wife: Ok, ok sorry. but I just had to say thank you. I'm so happy to have a husband like you,"
CD male: "Whatever...it's fine." (She scampers off.)
(longer silence)
Male #2: "Man I've never seen her so giddy. Did you two have good sex last night?"
CD male: "Don't really want to get into that, man"
Male #2: "She was staring at the floor though....did you two go shopping together or something? Are you gay? (teasing and twirling) Do you have a purse?"
Male #1: "I fail to see the problem here."
CD male: "Yeah, dude we're watching the game...keep it zipped."
Male #1: "Yeah man, just stfu this is getting awkward."
(Male #1 leans over to CD male and whispers after a silence)
Male #1: "Man your not the only one that does that. (He winks)...The sex is really great isn't it?"
CD male: "Normally, I would say anything...but OMFG! YES! YES! Holy f*** YES! We get double the pleasure."
Male #1: (softly) "Yeah, that poor sap...I mean our poor friend over there doesn't know what he's missing."
CD male: "You know what they say fem guys have more fun."
(Both flash smiles)
The crossdressing male husband answers: "Why no, sweetums your body looks absolutely gorgeous in that dress. We both know who really looks fat and ugly in a dress, don't we?"
Again: Wife: "Honey do I look good in this?"
CD male: "Of course you do, doll. I picked it out for you. I only wish I could wear it sometimes with as much style, grace, and dignity as you do."
Wife: "Thank you, darling but why can't you?"
CD male:"It's a little thing called testosterone. I can never be as pretty as you physically. It's really a drag."
Wife: "Aww...that's really too bad for my sissy isn't it?"
CD male: "Yeah...but that same hormone makes me crazy in love with you and drives our good sex life."
Wife: "So what's the problem?"
CD male: "I find my interior chemistry hard to balance sometimes...you know positives and negatives, that kind of thing."
Wife: "You have my full support and I understand your lament."
CD male: "Really?"
Wife: "Yes... (in a sexy voice) and you should know I was always good with chemistry."
CD male is watching a college football game with other "macho males."
Male#1: "Man Rich Rod's offense is really taking flight this year."
Secret CD male: "Yeah it's good to have a quarterback who can finally handle the system. Denard Robinson has great vision and open field speed and Tate has lpotentlypotental as well."
Male #2: "I can't wait for the Big Ten season to start, it should be exciting."
CD male: "Got that right."
Wife comes in
Wife: "Sorry guys just droping off snacks and btw honey thanks for our outing last night. I really needed it. You're so thoughtful." (Smiles and stares quickly at the shoes she wearing that he's bought after watching a chick flick.)
(Beat of silence) CD male: "Damn it woman! Your welcome, but not now! Not in the middle of my game! This isn't the time!"
Wife: Ok, ok sorry. but I just had to say thank you. I'm so happy to have a husband like you,"
CD male: "Whatever...it's fine." (She scampers off.)
(longer silence)
Male #2: "Man I've never seen her so giddy. Did you two have good sex last night?"
CD male: "Don't really want to get into that, man"
Male #2: "She was staring at the floor though....did you two go shopping together or something? Are you gay? (teasing and twirling) Do you have a purse?"
Male #1: "I fail to see the problem here."
CD male: "Yeah, dude we're watching the game...keep it zipped."
Male #1: "Yeah man, just stfu this is getting awkward."
(Male #1 leans over to CD male and whispers after a silence)
Male #1: "Man your not the only one that does that. (He winks)...The sex is really great isn't it?"
CD male: "Normally, I would say anything...but OMFG! YES! YES! Holy f*** YES! We get double the pleasure."
Male #1: (softly) "Yeah, that poor sap...I mean our poor friend over there doesn't know what he's missing."
CD male: "You know what they say fem guys have more fun."
(Both flash smiles)
Difference between transsexual and cross-dresser
How do you tell a cross dresser from a transsexual?
The transsexual is the one in comfortable shoes.
The transsexual is the one in comfortable shoes.
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF...
- You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't.
- You wear combat boots with a minidress.
- You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger than your fist.
- You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon Skin-So-Soft." (Karren how many of these do you have?)
- You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.
- You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet stockings.
- Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls.
- You use glitter to highlight your mustache.
- You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.
- Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.
- You keep spare ammo in your bra.
- You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on your motorhome.
- Your purse is a toolbox.
- You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed pliers.
- You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.
- You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.
- You call your vanity "your work bench."
- You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners.
- "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-pennies from the sixteen-pennies.
- Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you shot last Fall.
- Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your found on the road.
- You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.
- You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.
- Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs.
- Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.
-. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.
- Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30" on the container.
- You remove your leg hair with duct tape.
A
crossdresser and a rugby player sat next to each other on an aircraft. After
takeoff a flight attendant asked them what they would like to drink before
their meal. "I will have a scotch and soda", said the crossdresser.
"No way", said the rugby player, "I need to stay fit and would
rather wear a dress than drink alcohol !" "That's fine sir",
responded the flight attendant, at which the crossdresser exclaimed, "I'd like
to change my order please !"
A crossdresser is a man who would marry Elle mainly for her frocks.
A crossdresser is a man with Hers and Hers towels.
A crossdresser is a man who never wants for feminine company.
A crossdresser is a man who understands "Cathy" cartoon strips.
A crossdresser is a man who can open envelopes with his fingernails.
A crossdresser is a man who owns one suit and twenty-seven frocks.
A crossdresser is a man who would marry Elle mainly for her frocks.
A crossdresser is a man with Hers and Hers towels.
A crossdresser is a man who never wants for feminine company.
A crossdresser is a man who understands "Cathy" cartoon strips.
A crossdresser is a man who can open envelopes with his fingernails.
A crossdresser is a man who owns one suit and twenty-seven frocks.
A priest and parishioner
A priest had a parishioner who was a crossdresser and attended church in a baggy green blouse and a straight red skirt. When he asked the crossdresser if he could help the crossdresser replied, "1'm really worried about it. 1 need help." The concerned priest arranged for the crossdresser to attend a clinic and saw nothing of him for some months. One day, to the priest's horror, the crossdresser reappeared at church in a beautiful Channel suit. "But I thought that you were not coming back until you were cured", remonstrated the priest. "I am cured", the crossdresser replied, "I have a wonderful fashion sense now !"
Light bulb joke
How many crossdressers does it take to change a light bulb ? Three. One to go up the ladder, one to watch for ladders, and one to paint the bulb pink.
A priest had a parishioner who was a crossdresser and attended church in a baggy green blouse and a straight red skirt. When he asked the crossdresser if he could help the crossdresser replied, "1'm really worried about it. 1 need help." The concerned priest arranged for the crossdresser to attend a clinic and saw nothing of him for some months. One day, to the priest's horror, the crossdresser reappeared at church in a beautiful Channel suit. "But I thought that you were not coming back until you were cured", remonstrated the priest. "I am cured", the crossdresser replied, "I have a wonderful fashion sense now !"
Light bulb joke
How many crossdressers does it take to change a light bulb ? Three. One to go up the ladder, one to watch for ladders, and one to paint the bulb pink.
Why?
Why did the crossdresser cross the road ? To see how the other side felt.
Why did the crossdresser cross the road ? To see how the other side felt.
At the races
A crossdresser went to the races wearing a very large and unattractive floral hat. As he stood in the enclosure he realised that a man was staring at him. "May I help you ?", asked the crossdresser in a rather annoyed tone. "No", said the man, "people like you should not be allowed in here." The crossdresser was furious and called on a steward to expel the man for prejudice against heterosexual transgendered people. "No, no", protested the man, "I was objecting to your hat !"
A crossdresser went to the races wearing a very large and unattractive floral hat. As he stood in the enclosure he realised that a man was staring at him. "May I help you ?", asked the crossdresser in a rather annoyed tone. "No", said the man, "people like you should not be allowed in here." The crossdresser was furious and called on a steward to expel the man for prejudice against heterosexual transgendered people. "No, no", protested the man, "I was objecting to your hat !"
At the coffee shop
A straight man, a trans-sexual, and a crossdresser were drinking coffee together in a Darlinghurst cafe and watching the passing crowd. A very busty, well-dressed, and attractive woman walked into view. "Look at those **** !", exclaimed the straight man getting up from his seat for a better view. "Doesn't she move beautifully", sighed the trans-sexual enviously. The crossdresser drank some coffee and observed, "Her lipstick is all wrong for that frock."
A straight man, a trans-sexual, and a crossdresser were drinking coffee together in a Darlinghurst cafe and watching the passing crowd. A very busty, well-dressed, and attractive woman walked into view. "Look at those **** !", exclaimed the straight man getting up from his seat for a better view. "Doesn't she move beautifully", sighed the trans-sexual enviously. The crossdresser drank some coffee and observed, "Her lipstick is all wrong for that frock."
Q. What's a
transvestite's idea of a good time?
A. Eat,
drink, and be Mary!
Discussion between Child & his mother
"Mom,
can I ask you something?"
"Sure!
What about?" replied mother.
"Well,
I'm already fourteen and.. I think it's just proper that I should own
one."
"Own
'one' what?" mother asked suspiciously.
"Could
you buy me a push up bra?"
"No."
"But my
nipples are already prominent and it catches attention."
"Nope."
"I
think it would be just proper at my age..."
"I said
no way...!"
"But
all of my friends wear.......!"
Morris! How
many times must I tell you that bras are for girls!?"
Crossdress Cure
A priest had
a parishioner who was a crossdresser and attended church in a baggy green
blouse and a straight red skirt. When he asked the crossdresser if he could
help the crossdresser replied, "1'm really worried about it. 1 need help."
The concerned priest arranged for the crossdresser to attend a clinic and saw
nothing of him for some months. One day, to the priest's horror, the
crossdresser reappeared at church in a beautiful Channel suit. "But I
thought that you were not coming back until you were cured", remonstrated
the priest. "I am cured", the crossdresser replied, "I have a
wonderful fashion sense now !"
Crossdresser Transexual Straight man at Coffee shop
A straight
man, a trans-sexual, and a crossdresser were drinking coffee together in a
Darlinghurst cafe and watching the passing crowd. A very busty, well-dressed,
and attractive woman walked into view. "Look at those **** !",
exclaimed the straight man getting up from his seat for a better view.
"Doesn't she move beautifully", sighed the trans-sexual enviously.
The crossdresser drank some coffee and observed, "Her lipstick is all
wrong for that frock."
Crossdress Husband jokes
A
crossdressers wife asks: "Honey do I look fat in this?"
The crossdressing male husband answers: "Why no, sweetums your body looks absolutely gorgeous in that dress. We both know who really looks fat and ugly in a dress, don't we?"
The crossdressing male husband answers: "Why no, sweetums your body looks absolutely gorgeous in that dress. We both know who really looks fat and ugly in a dress, don't we?"
Future
Bathroom signs
 MEN ONLY |
 WOMEN ONLY |
 GAY MEN |
 GAY WOMEN |
 BISEXUAL MEN |
 BISEXUAL WOMEN |
 CROSS DRESSER PREFERS WOMEN |
 CROSS DRESSER PREFERS MEN |
 OVERWEIGHT MEN |
 OVERWEIGHT WOMEN |
 OVERWEIGHT GAY MEN |
 OVERWEIGHT GAY WOMEN |
 OVERWEIGHT BISEXUAL MEN |
 OVERWEIGHT BISEXUAL WOMEN |
 OVERWEIGHT CROSS DRESSER PREFERS WOMEN |
 OVERWEIGHT CROSS DRESSER PREFERS MEN |
 BISEXUAL OVERWEIGHT CROSS DRESSER |
 BULIMIC MEN |
 BULIMIC WOMEN |
 GAY BULIMIC MEN |
 GAY BULIMIC WOMEN |
 BISEXUAL BULIMIC MEN |
 BISEXUAL BULIMIC WOMEN |
 BULIMIC CROSS DRESSER THAT PREFERS MEN |
 BULIMIC CROSS DRESSER THAT PREFERS WOMEN |
 BISEXUAL BULIMIC CROSS DRESSER |
Gay Ranch Hand
A
successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined
to keep the ranch but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place
an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two men
applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and
hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy,
figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved
to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about
ranching. For weeks the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one
day the rancher's wife said to the hired hand, "You have done a really
good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your
heels."
The hired
hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night. However, one o'clock
came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. He finally returned
around two-thirty and found the rancher's wife sitting by
the
fireplace.
She quietly
called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she
said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did
so, slowly. Now take off my socks." He did. "Now take off my
skirt." He did. "Now take off my bra." Again with trembling hands
he did as he was told. "Now," she said, "take off my
panties." He slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she
looked at him and said, "Don't you ever wear my clothes to town again!"
