Thursday, November 23, 2017

I have a new blog site.



https://cindyusa584.wixsite.com/website


This site was easy to create with Wix.com. They provide many good templates for different types of web pages. I chose one that was more for photographs and models. Visit the site and if you like it send me an email at cindyusa58@yahoo.com


Cindy


Meeting a stranger in a hotel room



Meeting a Stranger in a Hotel Room


A few weeks after my confrontation with Ron, my friends Bob, and Rich debating cross-dressing, I was depressed. I was depressed and knew that I would have to be Cindy soon to feel normal again. Dressing and doing my makeup always made me feel better and made me horny. I posted a request to meet a dominant man on a cross-dressing website where admirers were known to cruise. Within in a few days, I received several replies to my posting.


One reply was interesting because of his strange request. He wanted to meet cross-dresser in a dark room. He did not want to see the cross-dresser’s face or to be seen by the cross-dresser. He e-mails expressed his desire for the lights to be out and the door unlocked. He told me to dress only in my stocking, suspenders, and bra.


What he proposed was truly anonymous sex, which was something I enjoyed. I replied to him I would rent a hotel room and dress, as he asked. I agreed to be lying on the bed, pretending to be sleeping. He liked the arrangements and set the day to meet. I arrived early, dressed, and did my makeup. A few minutes before the stranger would arrive I placed the do not disturb sign in the doorjamb next to the lock allowing the door to be shut but not locked. Anyone could have pushed the door open to enter.


At seven PM, I was lying on the bed in the appointed position, the lights were off, and the room was dark. A few minutes later, the door opened flooding the room with light from the hall. The door closed making the room dark again. The stranger did not tell me much about himself, just he had never met a CD before, and wanted his first experience to be as anonymous as possible. I did not know whether he was black or white, young, or old. After the door closed the strange make no sound or could I hear any movement. I guess his eyes were getting used to the dark. After a minute or so, his hands touched my back then moved to my ass. In the dark room, he felt my body confirming I was naked except a bra, suspender, and stockings. Everything seemed to be as we agreed.


It happened so fast! His weight was on top of me, holding me down. I could not move anymore. With one swift motion, he had my hands by my side pinned by his knees. Positioned on the bed face down, helpless; I could not offer any resistance. I tried to yell. The stranger said, "Shut up bitch!" as he cups his hand over my mouth. His hand muffled all the sounds I could make. He removed his hand from my mouth, I tried to yell again but he stuffed something in my opened mouth. I heard duct tape being ripped from a roll. Quickly the tape was used to secure my mouth shut.


He grabbed my arms by the wrist, tying them with something silky like stockings or pantyhose. My hands were bound fast restricting my arms. The stranger slipped some material over my eyes and fastened it tightly around my head. Gagged, blindfolded and bound, I was a half-naked cross-dresser lying face down on a bed.


I heard the rustling of clothes, the unzipping of pants. He sat on the bed next to me. He touched me, starting with my shoulders, then the touch of his hand moved down my back. I tried to move away from his touch. His hand moved all over my back then moved to my behind. He felt the suspender, stockings, and the rest of my naked body. His hands moved to my waist then grabbed each cheek firmly.


Then whack, whack, I felt the pain of two slaps on my ass cheek. I assumed it was his hand. He said with a sound of power over me, "Cindy is a bad girl letting a stranger come into her room.” Whack, whack was the sound I heard, I felt the stinging on my backside. "That is why I am here, to punish naughty Cindy.” Whack, whack, each spank was getting stronger.
He began, "Fucking American Cunt, fucking every man who wants your sorry ass.” Whack, whack, "You like being a bad girl don't you, slut Cindy?" My backside was getting sore with each slap. My cheeks were bright red and warm to the touch. Whack, Whack!


I wondered whether anyone in the hall or other rooms could hear the misuse I was receiving. His hand slapped my cheek and pausing while his finger would explore my crack. His finger massaged around my hole. After the tenth slap, his finger violated my anus. He exclaimed, "Your cunt is taut your filthy bitch. I am going to give you something to think about the next time you post a personal advertisement on a Yahoo!” He stood and dragged me to the edge of the bed positioning the upper half of my body on the bed’s edge. He stood between my legs, spreading them farther apart. I felt him place one hand on my ass as he pulled my cheeks apart. He rubbed his cock down my crack seeking my hole. He found my man pussy and pushed his cock head past the first set of sphincter's muscles, causing some pain.


I thought, ‘ouch that hurts’. ‘He must be thick, relax, and accept his dick’ I told myself. I was glad I had put some lube up me arose before he arrived, or it would have hurt more. I squirmed pretending to move away from his dick but trying to get the lube to work. He laughed, "Oh Cindy you cannot escape from me. I am going to enjoy your sweet cunt.” He pulled on my hips, thrusting deeper.


The lube was working as his cock worked deeper into my cunt. I moaned into the gag as if I were in pain, I was not but it made the man think he was hurting me. Some men get off thinking they were hurting someone by forcing their cock into an ass. I know that a man's rectum is longer than a woman's pussy and men with large dicks like ass fucking better than pussy fucking. This stranger’s cock felt larger than a typical man. I am skilled at anal sex, but I have my limits of eight inches long and four inches around. This stranger’s cock felt longer than eight inches. His cock caused me pain when he pushed in deep. Then I felt pleasure when his cock would rub against the prostate. Large dicks are a pain but pleasurable. This stranger was becoming a pain in the ass. I sensed he enjoyed inflicted pain when he ass fucked a guy. He claimed with self-satisfaction his voice, "Oh Cindy you are such a whore. I love forcing you to take my cock into your fucking cunt.” My eyes were covered, I could not see him, but I pictured him watching his cock go deep into my body.


I tried to relax, allowing his cock to go deep inside me reducing the pain. Just when was used to this position, he stopped, rolled me over on my back and dragged me to the center of the bed. I was lying on my arms. He grabbed my ankles, raised my legs, pushed his cock deep into me, and fucked me in this position. Talking to me as if I am something to be used, he stated, "I am going to teach you to enjoy my dick. Do you like my cock fucking your sissy cunt?” I do not think he expected a reply with the gag in my mouth.


All I could answer was, "Ah, ha,” I tighten my anus muscle causing more friction giving him more pleasure in each thrust.


His fucking speed increased, as he announced, "Oh you are a fucking cunt, I am going to cum. I am going to pump you up full of my seed.” With one thrust forward, he impaled me as far in as he could. I felt a warmness squirt far inside me. I loved counting the number of squirts each man would deposit in me. With each squirt, I contract my anus muscle responding to the deposit. He tossed my legs aside, making me feel like a piece of meat. He left me on the bed, tied, gagged, blindfolded, used and dripping his seed dripping from my misused manpussy.


At this point, I expected him to untie me and leave. Instead, I heard a phone dial tone and the dialing of numbers, and he said, “Two-One-Seven.” Slowly saying my room number.


A few minutes later I heard the door opening, then the sound of footsteps entering the room. I felt the presence of several men in the room, maybe three or four. I thought this could not be good. A new voice asked, “What a fucking bitch, what is her name?”


The stranger said, “Cindy the slut.”


Another voice said, “I want a piece of that ass.”


A voice deeper than the others announced, “I need that fucking hot mouth on my cock.” I realized that I was going to be raped.


My mother uses to say, “When you are going to be raped, you might relax and enjoy it.”


The tape over my mouth was removed and the material in my mouth was removed. Someone whispered into my ear, “Cindy, now you’ll be a good girl and you will not be hurt. Otherwise, you will get punished. You will not enjoy the punishment, you’d better be a good girl, and do you understand?”


All I could answer was “Ah-Uah .” I had bondage fantasies about gangbang fantasies. Then I was not sure whether I was ready for what was about to happen.


I felt my body being moved and positioned on the bed. Pillows were placed under my chest allowing me to be kneeling on the bed; my face was on longer on the bed. The pillows allowed my face to be at an elevation that made allowed someone to stand and fuck my mouth and someone else to screw me. I steadied myself knowing my warm body would be used for the pleasure of horny men.


As my eyes got adjusted to the light, I got a look at the men in the room. One man was leaning on the dresser, a cigarette in his mouth and a bean? in his hand. Oh, shit, I recognized him. I knew him. Ron, a friend. Just a few nights ago, I met him in a bar and we had a long conversation about cross-dressing. I looked at the other two men, I recognize one was Bob and the other was Rich, two more of my friends were in the bar. Oh, shit, oh shit, so far, they have not recognized me as Matt, only Rich knew my identity.


I was tied up with duct tape and could not move. My body was positioned for a double assault. One man fucking my ass and another fucking my mouth, split roasted as my English friends would say and there was nothing I could do against it. Rich knelt on the bed, bent over, and whispered into my ear.


“Hey Matt, you look so sexy. After our conversation the other night, I wanted to know what it felt like to get oral from a cock sucking queer. Then Ron told me about an ad he saw on yahoo and I suspected it was you when the ad was signed Cindy.” Do not worry, I will not tell Ron that Cindy is Matt if you give me your best blowjob. Bob is going to fuck you know and does not know that you are Matt, so it will be our secret, right?”


I shook my head yes and whispered, “Yes”, Rich knelt next to my face.


Rich said in a loud voice, “Open your mouth bitch and suck my cock.” I did as he ordered.


I heard Bob’s voice saying, “What a fucking queer bastard, dressing up as a woman and letting me fuck him. I am going to enjoy breeding this cunt.” I felt the warmth of a cock between my cheeks where Ron had fucked me hard a few minutes earlier. I had lubed my ass but now I had Ron’s seed in me and dripping out running down my leg. Bob’s cock penetrated my ass with no pain. I could feel I had a cock in my ass, but it did not feel long or fat around. Bob was bouncing his body off my ars, slapping my ars as if he were riding a bull and yelling, “Yippee!”


Rich held my head guiding his cock into my mouth. I gagged when he forced his cock into my mouth. I guessed he had seven inches and was lucky his cock was not fat. Rich continued to fuck my face telling me, “You have a hot mouth bitch. Keep sucking you fucking queer.” I was not able to say no. This was one of my fantasies so far none of my friends to realize I was Matt.


Bob continued to pound away at my ass and Rich fucked my faced. After five minutes of this fucking, Rich said, “Oh yes slut, I am coming, I am going cum down your throat and you will swallow every drop.”


The Bob chimed in, “Oh yes, I cummings too. I will breed your ass you are a fucking queer cunt. I could feel the warm flush down my throat of Rich’s cum and felt Bob warm cum filling my ass. As both men pulled out of my body I looked at Ron, still standing naked leaning against the dresser and filming the split roasting of Cindy.


“Oh shit,” I said to myself. Now they might recognize me, and I will never live this down. I turned my head away. The duct tape was removed from my hands. I was pushed over on the bed, too tired and used to move. The three men dressed calling me names, like cunt, whore, queer, cocksucker, laughing about what they have done, raping a helpless CD. Only Rich knew I was Matt so far, he had kept the secret. As the men left the room, Rich leaned down and whispered into my ear. Ron has a video of you dressed and getting fucked while giving oral. By the way, great head you gave me. I will be seeing you again but for now, do not tell anyone what happens here tonight, or the video will be posted to the net wi0th your real name and home address. You will have horny men knocking on your door wanting to fuck a sweet cut and fucking your mouth.


With that, the three men left the room leaving me with the taste of cum in my mouth and cum dripping out of my ass, used and abused. I knew that in the days to come I was going to be used again but already thought how I can reverse my situation.



Dominant Ron



Dominant Ron


Cindyusa58@yahoo.com


Ron left his friends Rich and Matt at the sports bar to sober up. He had better things to do than talk about cross-dressing especially when he was losing the argument. He just hated to be told he was wrong and Matt had been doing that all night to Ron. Ron was horny and had other plans for the evening. He had Bob the designated driver drops him off at a popular pickup bar. The bar catered to all groups of people, old or young, straight and gays alike. What Ron wanted to do he would do alone.


Ron stood at his favorite local bar, drinking a double scotch while watching men as they entered and socialized. The bar had a reputation as a decent pickup bar for the straight men looking for hot women. The gay crowd also found this bar an excellent place to socialize. Ron was not looking for a woman nor was he looking for gay men. Ron’s visit to the bar was a predator, a sexual predator. Like how a predator would hunt down its prey, so the sexual predator hunted for his next sex partners. Ron was not the noted sexual predators that habitually seek our children or to rape women. Ron displayed an extreme exhibition of the roles of the sexes as encoded by society and by biology. He sought sexual meetings considered exploitive. As a predator, he believes that he and he alone had "rights" and his "rights" superior to yours. Ron displayed typical signs of sexual aggression, antagonism, loathing for his sexual partners. Many sexual predators attack only a victim, such as children of a certain age, sex, or race. Ron picked out men as his victim. Sexual predators are usually friendly, self-assured individuals who target their victims carefully, rather than choosing at random. Ron was at the bar for one purpose, to find a submissive man to suck his cock.


As a predator, Ron sought power over another person. As an animal focusing on its prey, he does so by looking for any weakening of his target. With Ron’s experience, he had little difficulty "seeking out" his perspective victim's weak spots. He used a common strategy such as terrorizing, isolating, creating chaos and trying to promote dependency.


Few women were willing to take Ron’s abusive, demanding behavior so his two marriages ended with no children. Ron enjoyed watching clear, graphic pornography involving adults, more precisely oral sex. His turn on was homosexual Fellatio, or Irrumatio (to put it bluntly, the act of face fucking). He liked to deep throat or to perform Fellatio (dick sucking) to where the penis is sticking in the performer's throat (usually causing a gag reflex). Ron fantasized about dominating sexual acts especially about oral sex with men while he masturbated daily, sometimes two to three times. Ron viewed sex one person dominating the other to the point of extreme. Don lusted for extreme sexual meetings with strangers, hookers, or someone he just met. His potential sexual partners were victims. Ron did not consider them as a human being, but as a sexual object to do what he pleases. Ron spent all his time seeking out his sexual fantasies, seeking others to provide him with oral sex, sometimes forcing others and not taking no for an answer.


Ron’s behavior was outside the normal sexual sphere to gratify impulses of asserting dominance over others. Phycologist had a special clinical name for Ron’s condition, an Alpha Male who relished control over others. Ron expected to have his own way sexually with others. He resorted to threats to get his sexual kicks. Ron believed that when you allow someone else to dominate you, you can lose respect for yourself.


Like many other men, Ron preferred a good blowjob to sexual intercourse. He enjoyed receiving oral sex from submissive men. Ron was a Sexual Dominant Alpha Male. Ron enjoyed seducing men to give him oral it did not matter if the men were straight, bisexual, or gay, He was out to dominate them with his cock. He enjoyed meeting men with one objective, having them on their knees sucking his cock.


Ron was not looking for any relationship, only seeking conquest. He rarely met someone more than once relishing one-night stands or a quickie. Ron enjoyed the seduction of the unsuspecting men. He was successful in getting strange men to suck his cock. He was so successful because of his ability to read the body language of another. He had a knack to tell if a person was dominating or submissive, straight, bisexual, or gay. He hunted for a submissive cocksucker then dominating them for his oral pleasure.


One of the tricks Ron had learned in finding submissive men was to play the odds. In any group of men, one or two were dominated, the rest could be submissive. Ron was a sexual predator. He developed many skills to find suitable men for his dominance activities. He watched men's body language to discover whether they were straight, bisexual, or gay and if they were dominating or submissive. He used his Smartphone for data search of his intended prey. Ron’s smartphone also had a computer program that could discover whether someone was homosexual or heterosexual.


Ron stood at the bar watching other males, looking for his next cock sucker. The more submissive the male the easier it was to identify them by their dress, conversation, or body language.


Ron looks around the bar and watches a few men displaying submissiveness. One was sitting at the bar arms folded, chin down, and not making eye contact. Another man was fidgety, his shoulders slumped. Another man was talking, but his speech was fast and in a high voice. He has seduced many straight men to suck his cock, but doing so takes time. He wants something quick. He knows that 75% of bisexuals are submissive. In a few minutes of observation, he found two men that might classify as submissive.


Once he found who might submissive Ron had three ways of determining one's sexual preference. First was to watch what they are wearing. The second was to strike up a conversation and ask a few leading questions. Third, move into their comfort zone and wait for a reaction.


Gay men, including submissive gay men, do dress as a sexual woman, so they could be identified then added to the list of possibilities. Ron was looking for heterosexual or bisexual men. Heterosexual men might object to being forced to suck a cock, but many straight men have had some fantasies about sucking a cock or being forced to suck a cock. He has found horny men who have sucked cock before, it has been just a finding correct man than making a demand that they cannot say no. He had a few other tricks to identify submissive males using the process of elimination to single out bisexual men.


Tonight, Ron was searching for a submissive bisexual man because he had a better chance of getting his cock sucked.


Ron found one man at the bar who displayed submissive traits. He moved to the barstool next to a suspected submissive man seated at the bar. The man was dressed in an elegant white dress shirt with elegant French Cuffs, a tie around an open collar, sitting at the bar, slumped, chin down, and both ears pierced. Ron stood next to the sitting man invading the sitting man’s space. The sitting man apologizes to Ron thinking he was in Ron’s way. Ron is thinking of all the other things noted, the clothing, the man’s posture, and concluded the sitting man could be a submissive. Continuing Don’s stalking, he asks the stranger what he was doing in the bar tonight. A dominant male always asks a direct question. Submissive men tend to be more talkative when answering a question asked by a stranger. The man responded with a higher than normal pitch voice and spoke in short but rapid sentences. "Just in town at a meeting. I am from South Beach. Just here for tonight. Are you visiting?"


Ron responds as a typical Alpha Male, short and to the point answer, "No."


After a few minutes, Ron said to the stranger, "My name Ron Jones,” reaching out with his hand. The other man says, "I am Doug Middleton from South Beach.” Doug reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a business card. The card read, Doug Middleton Fertilizer and Argo products, SE Regional Sales Manager, business address, phone number, and website. They shook hands. Now that, Ron had Doug’s name, business address, business phone number and e-mail address, Don needed to distract Doug to do a smartphone web search. Ron distracts Doug by mentioning the number of women at the bar. Doug looks around at the woman in the bar giving Ron Time to type in Doug’s personal information into his smartphone.


Ron used his smartphone to do a search of over one hundred social-networking websites for any hits. As his smartphone was doing searches, Ron notices that Doug's interest was not focused on the woman at the bar. The results of Doug’s name and location search reveal Doug's professional information on LinkedIn. The search resulted in finding Doug’s FaceBook page with pictures of his wife and children. Ron discovered Doug was married, not divorced. This means he is most likely not gay.


Ron has a little techno trick that helps him discover whether someone has sexual interest. A person's pupil dilates when he focuses on something of interest. Ron deduced this reflex could be used to identify one's sexual interest. Ron wrote a new app for his smartphone that shows a 30-second video. At the same time, it records the person facial expression while watching the video. The person watching the video his eyes and face are analyzed for any dilation or changes in facial expression. With this new technology, Ron could explore the sexual interests of people who never suspected.


Ron showed Doug his new phone feigning not knowing what all the buttons do. Ron pressed an icon starting a video then apologized saying he does not know how to turn it off. The video was a normal news report but with millisecond pictures of erect cocks flashing several times. A subject did not see the pictures of cocks, but their eyes responded if you were gay or bisexual. The video played for thirty seconds; Doug watched all the video. His eyes were analyzed, recorded, and dilated. The program provided a report indicating Doug was possibility 75% interested in cocks, either gay or bisexual. Ron’s research revealed Doug was married and unlikely gay; Doug demonstrated submissive body language, a reflection of a submissive person. With all the facts gathered by Ron, he could predict with reasonable confidence Doug was a submissive bisexual.


Ron had a good feeling about Doug. He leaned close to Doug to see his reaction. Doug did not pull back. Most straight men felt uncomfortable when a stranger invaded their comfort zone.


In fifteen minutes, Ron identified Doug as a submissive bisexual and a possible cock sucker. Ron decided to have some fun with Doug. Ron knew that five to ten percentage of all men are into cross-dressing. Many cross-dressing men liked to underdress by wearing women’s clothing such as stockings and pantyhose under their men's clothing. Ron leaned in close to Doug as if telling him a secret and says, "I love a man who wears panties.” Ron waited for Doug's response; it was immediate and revealing.


Doug blushed and stammered, "How did you know?” Doug put his hands on his hips checked if maybe his shirt might have come untucked exposing his panties.


Ron told Doug, "Don't worry no one can tell. I saw the outline of your panties in your pants. It did not seem something a guy will wear.” Ron continued, "I am sure a sissy slut like you loves to wear panties."


"Let's go into the men's room, I want to see."


Ron considered Doug’s eyes. Doug looks away and down toward Ron's crotch. Ron noticed this gaze, rubs his crotch showing Doug an outline of his large hard cock. Ron whispers to Doug, "Let's go into the men's room; I want to see."


Doug followed Ron to the men’s room and motioned for Doug to go into a stall. The men’s room was empty as Ron pushed Doug into a stall. Ron told Doug to show him his panties. Doug unzipped his pants to reveal red lace and satin material.


Ron said, “Does our wife know you are a fucking sissy slut, Doug?” He forced Doug to sit on the toilet. Ron took out his smartphone, and before Doug could object to Ron had a picture of Doug’s face and showing his red panties. “Take my cock out of my pants,” was the next directive Ron told Doug. Doug fumbled with Ron’s zipper but did as ordered. Ron’s above-average cock was released. Ron took his cock and rubbed it on Doug’s lips. Doug opened his mouth to take Ron’s cock, but before there was contact Ron slapped Doug’s face saying, “You are a fucking slut, did I tell you to suck my cock?” Doug shook his head signaling no. Ron took his cock and slapped Doug's face. The force behind the cock slapping resulting in an echo in the stall. Slap, Slap, then Ron rubbed his cock on Doug’s face and lips told him, “You are such a sissy.” Ron took his smartphone taking more incriminating pictures of Doug’s face sucking a cock. Ron ordered, “Open your sissy cock sucking mouth and stick out your tongue.” Doug did as direct holding his cock with one hand rubbing the head of his cock on Ron’s lips and tongue. Doug has opened his mouth as Ron placed one hand on Doug’s head. Doug moved forward watching as his cock disappeared into Doug’s mouth. Ron moved his hips in a rhythmic motion fucking Doug’s mouth. Ron said, “Keep your mouth open you fucking bitch. Make your mouth like a pussy.” Ron took more pictures of the action. Ron asks, “What is your secret website where you show-off your panties pictures.” Ron instructed, “Type it in here.” Ron handed Doug his smartphone opens to a web browser. Doug did as he was ordered. In a few seconds, there was a web page displaying Windy Will’s profile and many pictures of him dressed in panties of many distinctive colors and styles.





Ron’s cock was close to eight inches when hard. Each time he fucked Doug’s face he made him gag. Face fucking Doug's mouth caused a large about of a spittle to coat Ron’s cock. This spittle lubricated Ron's cock allowing him to slide deeper down Doug’s throat. With one final thrust, all Ron’s cock was buried in Doug’s mouth, so Ron’s balls were resting on Doug’s chin. Not often had Ron found someone that could take his cock deep throat. This excited Ron to the point that he was ready to shoot.


Ron was fucking Doug’s mouth saying, “Oh yes you are a fucking sissy. I am going to cum in your sweet mouth, and you are going to like it. I want you to swallow every drop of my cum, do you hear that your sissy slut?” Doug cannot speak so nods his head yes. Ron unloads his cum down Doug’s throat forcing him to swallow each squirt. Ron removes his cock wipes his last drops of cum on Doug’s cheeks and lips. Ron says, “Do not wipe my cum off your face. I want others to see you are a sissy and you suck cock. Do you understand?”


Doug nodded his head yes. Ron replaced his cock back in his pants, zipped up his pants and left the stall. As he departed, he noticed a man at the urinal. Ron told the man, “You can fuck the sissy’s mouth and makes sure he swallows your cum.” Ron left the restroom satisfied.


Ron had a sexual appetite that forced him to seek many sexual partners a day. Ron’s primeval instinct forced by his desire for submissive males to suck his cock. Ron visited adult bookstores, bathhouses, and glory hole where it was easy to find someone to suck his cock. Ron dominated submissive men with the expected outcome of shooting his sperm into their mouth. He used his talents in reading body language, observations, and his smartphone to seek and find submissive men who will suck his cock.















Ron was enormously opinionated



Cindyusa58@yahoo.com


Ron was enormously opinionated


Ron was opinionated about everything; despite any number of facts to the contrary, he would never admit he was wrong. Every Saturday night I would meet my friends Ron, Bob, and Rich in a sports bar to watch college football. My name is Matt. I was not sure who mentioned the subject of cross-dressing, but Ron said, “All fucking, cock sucking cross-dresser are fags and queers.”


Bob and Rich laughed at what Ron said, with Bob chiming in, “Yea, but they have tits. Chicks with dicks. Yahoo!”


Rich sounded in on the subject, “Yea, a cross-dresser is a man who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary.”


Bob smiled and added, “What’s the biggest crime committed by cross-dressers?” Pausing for affect Bob said, “Male fraud.”


What was said made me mad. These guys were my friends, but they were wrong about cross-dressing. I should know, I am a crossdresser. In the United States today, crossdressing is considered a taboo, an activity that people joke about. I did not know how to react to the stupidity of my friends. I could just sit there and pretend to laugh or leave.


Ron added this joke, “A man told his shrink, ‘Doctor, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world, blondes, brunettes, redheads. All dancing in a row. His psychiatrist interrupted, ‘Hold it, Andy. That doesn’t sound so terrible.’ ‘Oh yeah?’ replied Andy, ‘In the dream, I was the third girl from the end!” All my friends laughed.






The group was doing well, next Ron said, “I don’t believe men should be allowed to parade around in our society in female clothing. I know that all the men who cross-dressing are gay fucking queers. They should be charged and taken to court for doing so.”


I had enough of these crappy jokes. I could not keep quiet any longer I was going to tell Ron off. However, maybe I could provide some facts about cross-dressing to educate my friends.


I spoke up with authority, “Ron, I read that cross-dressing man is usually not gay, and most cross-dressers are married. Some resources report that 70% were in a heterosexual relationship. than 10% of cross-dressers consider themselves bisexual, or homosexual. The stereotype that cross-dressers are gay comes from the false assumption that femininity exists to serve masculinity. Let us assume the reason women wear dresses, makeup or heels is to gather the attention of men. Within this sociological sexist framework, people can assume any man who dresses as a woman is doing it to gain attention. Of course, this isn’t the truth at all.”


Ron, Bob, and Rich all stared at me with a questioning looks on their faces, but no words came out of their mouths. My statement caught All my friends off guard. No one said anything for a second. I felt it was necessary to add, “It's factual that occasionally women do dress up to impress a man. Most time women dress to look pretty for themselves, to feel better about themselves, not to impress one another. Cross-dressers are the same; they dress because it sensations excites them and not necessarily to attract the attention of men.”


Ron swanks, “Good! Matt looks who knows all about queer men dressing up in woman’s clothing.”


My temper was rising with the stupid words coming out of Ron’s mouth. I had to reply and point out, “Ron, you would be amazed how many successful men are closet cross-dressers. Coming out is hard to do in our society, because of all the common misconceptions the public has about men expressing their feminine side. reports that 5% of the adult male population have cross-dressed.”


Ron did not like being made to look stupid. He said, “Everyone knows, Hoover was in the closet, so cross-dressers must be pretty fucked up to want to be a dress and look like a woman.”


Someone must put Ron in his place and I could not hold my tongue. Again, I had to correct Ron’s misunderstanding, “Cross-dressers may dress for erotic reasons, they may dress because they like the feel of female clothing, or they dress because they wish to go out dressed as a woman like one of the girls. wish men as sexual partners. They are regular men when they are not dressing up and they do not want to be a woman full-time. Dressing up is purely an expression of their feminine sides. Most cross-dressers are ordinary men who discovered a feminine character in their personalities. They need to transcend the narrow stereotypes mandated by conventional society”.


Ron would not stay quiet and blurted, “Ordinary men, expressing their feminine side, my ass. I heard that cross-dressers have an illness and cross-dressing can be cured.”


I know that what Ron said was a misunderstanding people have about men that cross-dress. I had to tell him the truth about cross-dressing and responded, “Ron cross-dressing is not an illness and since it is not an illness why would there be a cure. No treatment is necessary as cross-dressing is not considered an illness.”


Ron commented, “Well you will never catch me in a dress.”


What a comeback Ron I thought. I was like mad and I looked at Ron in the eyes saying, “Cross-dressers come from all walks of life, races, creeds, and economic backgrounds. The cross-dressing dates back many thousands of years. In some cultures, especially some Native American tribes, they were highly respected as shamans. Most cross-dressers are well educated and come from conventional family backgrounds. The clear majority are heterosexual, and most are or have been, married. Most are happy in their masculinity, and only a small percentage opts to live as women full-time.” I was pleased with my response and debating with Ron.


Ron said, “If a man cross-dresses and the wife catches him it is grounds for a divorce.”


I was doing well and corrected Ron again, “Cross-dressing is rarely a cause for divorce. A couple can compromise by granting time for the activity. Usually cross-dressers stay married. Most differences can be worked out to the satisfaction of the couple.” I was thinking, I should know because when my wife discovered that I cross-dress she wanted to understand why I would do such a thing. It took awhile but she understood and accepted my cross-dressing fetish.


Ron could not accept the facts I was providing and had to say, “Cross-dresser are perverts. Who in their right mind would want to cut off their dicks to look like a woman?”


I had all the facts because of the research I did to figure out why I enjoy cross-dressing. I also had facts about cross-dressing when my wife and I sat and worked out her accepting me being a cross-dresser. Again, I could not remain quiet and said, “Ron, come on now. A large majority of cross-dressers do not identify themselves as transsexual or identify with being born into the wrong body. For most cross-dressers, their feminine feelings and expressions are limited to wearing clothing, makeup, and wigs.” I was doing well my counter to Ron’s negative statements and continued, “Unfortunately the society we live in dictates limited roles for both males and females. Some guys grow up resenting this, much the same way that some girls grow up resenting wearing dresses and choose to never wear them. times, people, like many women, are exhausted by their prescribed role in society. They just want to find some balance between expressing something different from masculinity.


Ron said, “I just cannot understand why a man would start cross-dressing.” Ron must have been tiring in this conversation or was honestly open to my comments.


“Ron,” I respond, “Cross-dressers usually start dressing up a child or in their teens. In a small number of cases the desire to dress can start later in life.”


“OK, Matt” Ron rebutted, “You are so smart, why do boys start to cross-dress? If I caught my son cross-dressing I would spank him. ” Good Ron,” I responded to his question, “Probably out of a sense of childlike curiosity. Some cross-dressers may have had sisters or a babysitter who may have dressed them up as girls either for fun or punishment. With some cross-dressers, the dressing is purely a fantasy. Dressing can relieve the stress involved in living up to the perceived male role model as a tough, problem solver. Pretending to be a girl may provide him with a release from male peer pressures. Many times, cross-dressers will start dressing up in lingerie or silky clothing, like pantyhose or stockings purely for the feeling of the fabrics on their body. Cross-dressing often will progress over time to include dressing up, applying makeup and wigs, even mimicking female walking, and talking.


Ron questioned, “Matt are you telling me that a boy can start to cross-dress, quit for 40 years then starts to cross-dress again?”


By now I had a few beers and realized I was vocal about my belief. I was disturbed by what Ron was saying. He was spouting off at the mouth and did not have any facts, just heresy. I stated, “When a man reaches the mid-twenties or later, social and economic pressures start to surface. Children, a mortgage, car payments, and education worries can play a role. Undoubtedly, the biggest cause of a man’s stress is through his job. The pressures of family life and the decrease of sexual activity as his marriage matures can contribute to his cross-dressing. Life stresses can build up, causing the deep memories of his cross-dressing past to resurface. He will start to cross-dress again to relieve his stress and the daily pressures.”


Ron said, “His wife, family or boss should tell him to quit.”


I know what Ron was saying was wrong, I know I had tried to quit but found that I was depressed when I tried to quit cross-dressing and was the happiest when I was dressed. I responded, “This is probably the worst thing anyone can do. Forcing them to stop and purging their feminine side could have disastrous outcomes. Most likely he would binge later as the cross-dressing urge would be even stronger. Besides, the pressure will still be there and could lead to violent breakouts or emotional distress. There is no “cure” for cross-dressing, and most cross-dressers do not want one!”


Ron was still not listening, and he responded, “Well if my son or someone I knew was a cross-dresser I would force them to stop.”


At this point, I had to state, “Because of possible stress from families, jobs, and friends, many cross-dressers’ fetish is shrouded in secrecy. Burdened by fear and guilt, some cross-dressers deny their feminine side and purge all their clothing. Cross-dressers are further stressed by eliminating a significant part of their personality. Eventually, they return to feminine self-expression by decreasing their stress. Some seek therapy, but as many therapists are not knowledgeable about cross-gender issues, they sometimes find themselves educating the therapist rather than getting the help they seek. Nor are psychiatric drugs of benefit.”


I wanted to go on, but Ron and Bob needed to go. I had my limit of beer and need to sober up before driving home. Rich and I started to drink coffee. Bob was the designated driver for Ron, so they left.


Rich and I were now alone at the bar. The conversation was down to just Rich and me. Rich asked, “Matt where did you learn all that information about cross-dressers? You sounded so educated on the subject.”


I smiled at Rich saying, “Rich my friend, can you keep a secret?” Rich nodded his head. “Rich, I am a closet CD. I have been cross-dressing since I was twelve. I stole my cousin’s panties and started to enjoy the thrill of underdressing. The feeling I received, the feeling of women's clothing next to my skin was heightened by the feeling I get from the possibility of getting caught.”


Rich asks, “Matt what about your wife Sara, does she know?”


I told Rich, “Yes she knows but is not as encouraging as I would like. She does not let me wear her clothing but will buy me a few outfits to wear. I underdress and have a collection of women’s panties I wear. Some are what are called sissy panties, they are full cut, made of silk, or satin and have lace and bows.


The look on Rich’s face showed surprise at what I was saying, “Damn Matt, you have me horny. Sara actually buys you clothes to wear then plays dress up?”


I have not shared my secret with anyone. I was feeling relieved talking to Rich and was feeling boastful and said, “Rich, my sex life has been wonderful once Sara embraced my feminine side. When we have sex, it is more passionate than when I am not dressed. Making love to her was as if we were two women, two lesbians having sex.”


Rich was leaning my direction, listening to my every word. He said, “Matt, your lucky dog. So how did all this happen?”


I briefly told Rich how and why I started to cross-dress, “Started when I was twelve and needing something to jack off with. I stole panties from my cousin and jacked off with them. I stole panties and a bra but had to hide them. I rode my bike back home wearing underdress and was so excited by feeling the material next to my body I shot off in my pants. I had a wet spot on my shorts and almost got caught by my best friend.”


I continued, “I almost got caught by my neighbor and when I went to the emergency room. I know they knew I would dress in panties and bra because they gave me more things to play dress up. I met a nice lady at the Mall in the department store who gave me a corset, stockings and a wig.”


Rich asked, “Did you have sex with them?”


I understood Rich’s question was a misconception about a cross-dresser, “Rich, the only sex I had was with me. My cross-dressing has been just for me and I need to release my sexual tension. You know when you are a teenager you would experiment how many times you can jack off, or wanted to see how far you can shoot your load. I did not think of sex with others, never entered my mind then.”


Rich was on his second cup of coffee, was wide-eyed and had so many questions to ask, “So no one discovered? Did your parents know?” He hesitates then asks, “Have you ever been with a man?”


These questions, I was wondering if telling Rich was a good idea, “Rich, my life as a cross-dresser has been a secret. No one I know knows and I hope suspects. My mother knew about the panties, but she never found the other I items I was given. At least she never said anything. I never asked, she never told. As for being with a man, when I was in college I became curious. I had some wild times. I had this term paper for which I had to do research. The only way to complete the research was to dress up and pretend to be a woman. I have sucked a few cocks and been fucked too.”


Rich responded to my last statement, “No way. You mean you are gay.”


I responded by saying, “No Rich, I do not want to marry a man. I like sex and it does not matter if I am a man or a woman. I am bisexual.”


Rich paused a moment then asked, “Do you have any photos of you when you are dressed?”


I love posing for photos and posting them on my Flickr site for others to enjoy. I gave Rich a link that he used to bring up my photographs on his smartphone.


For the next five minutes, he stared at his phone, using his thumb to scroll between photographs. Finally, Rich said, “Damn Matt, your pictures made me horny. I would never have a guy suck me off, but I think I could if it were a cross-dresser. Do you have any cross-dressing friends that I can meet?” “By the way, what is your cross-dressing name?”


I respond with just one word, “Cindy.”


I was not sure where this conversation was going and if I wanted to go there. I have met several men at bars who first I met online then agreed to meet to see if they wanted me. This conversation was like the others but now I was talking about my secret fetish of dressing with a friend. The friend who knows my wife, where I worked and now that I was a cross-dresser.




Thursday, November 9, 2017

Reasons why to crossdress




I found this list and wanted to share with others.
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?158441-100-reasons-to-crossdress
100 reasons to crossdress






I thought I would create a list of reasons to cross-dress or reasons behind a desire to cross-dress. Please keep in mind that the author is a plain old MtF crossdresser, nothing more, nothing less, so I can only enumerate along my own lines of thought. Your reasons may vary, or you may have no reason at all, or cross-dressing may not even be a choice for you – I understand. Anyway, I wish to present my 100 reasons to cross-dress:

1) Because you can...
2) Why not? Time is short...
3) You have a keen sense of touch, and you love the tactile nature of female clothing...
4) You enjoy “acting” out a role in your own ongoing autobiography...
5) Your heroes are all heroines...
6) Someone once dressed you up, and you liked it...
7) There is a history of cross-dressing, along with a “community” of kindred spirits...
8) It all made perfect sense one day, didn’t it?
9) You just love to burn bridges...
10) You’re fascinated by your own reflection...
11) You’re a pervert, a deviant, and one of nature’s mistakes (to society)...
12) You think you’re special, and you dress accordingly...
13) Are you a fetishist? Yeah, me too...
14) You may or may not have latent homosexual tendencies, but so what?
15) You would much rather be a girl...
16) You feel the need to explain yourself, but you can’t find the words, so you dress...
17) You dress purely for sexual reasons...
18) Others do it, and have done it, so why can’t you?
19) You detest male clothing, and the limited choices that are available...
20) You dress to side-step your masculinity in a BIG way...
21) You enjoy doing things that can’t be easily explained...
22) You want to be pretty, and you’re sick of DRAB...
23) You want to do something that takes real courage...
24) You’re a shy boy, you were never picked for the team, and bullies picked on you...
25) You once saw a girl/lady/woman in a movie, and it made a BIG impression on you...
26) You cry when you see (or hear) something really beautiful...
27) You like to turn the male OFF by tucking him away...
28) You really, really, really, really, really like panties...
29) You identified with your mother for one reason or another...
30) You needed to express yourself, for your own sake...
31) You went down to the crossroads, and you fell down on your knees...
32) You dared to be REAL...
33) Virility is not your thing, but effeminacy appeals to you...
34) The idea of syzygy makes perfect sense...
35) You actively seek your own parallel universe...
36) In your mind, you’re a princess...
37) You never thought you’d do it, but darned if you didn’t actually DO it...
38) You enjoy slippery slopes...
39) To you, “Active Female Support” is a lifestyle...
40) You love the feeling of air under your skirt...
41) You know where you’re coming from, but not where you’re going to...
42) Why be ugly, when you can be truly beautiful?
43) To you, conformity is a dirty word...
44) You want to see how far you can go, even though there are no limits...
45) Because the phrase “JUST DO IT” inspires you every time...
46) You fell on your head as a child, and something miraculous happened...
47) You’re passive, rather than aggressive or passive-aggressive...
48) You have smaller than normal feet, so you love women’s’ shoes...
49) You ARE what you wear, and you wish to be feminine...
50) Its fun to feel vulnerable, n’est ce pas?
51) You paint life in vivid colors, using big brushstrokes...
52) You wanted a REALLY interesting hobby...
53) This is the role you were born to play, and you care about doing it well...
54) You love all girly things, even bed canopies and stuffed animals...
55) You apologize often, which tells others you’re weak and un-manly. Too bad...
56) WOW! What a rush! Truly awesome...
57) You’re a sissified boy, a fairy, and a mythical forest creature...
58) You hug and kiss, rather than shake hands – you NEED a hug!
59) You are tolerant to a fault, even tolerating those who “troll” for a reaction from you...
60) The word “flounce” gives you goose bumps...
61) You visualize yourself dressed in pink...
62) You turn away from male preoccupations, and seek the female...
63) You never wanted to join the club...
64) You like boys – are you in denial about this?
65) You really DON’T like boys...
66) You really don’t want to be anything like a boy...
67) Passing is your fancy – you wish to be seen THIS way...
68) Clothes that MOVE – what a concept!
69) You’re creating your own masterpiece from found materials...
70) You seek to incorporate the genders within, and declare this union via the clothes you wear...
71) You enjoy playing dress-up, or playing at being a girl...
72) You pursue happiness with vigor...
73) You dream of becoming that imaginary, intangible female you admire...
74) You make friends easily, as long as you can be YOU...
75) If you’re an artist, it follows that you’re a work of art, created by you to BE you...
76) You love going against the expectations of others - within reason, of course...
77) You’re timeless and impractical, yet charming and self-effacing...
78) You enjoy being different from others...
79) You enjoy being VERY different from others...
80) The idea of having (or making) an overnight doll bag sounds good to you...
81) You enjoy shaving (everything, I mean)...
82) Emulation, not imitation, is the key to your ongoing integration...
83) To you, everything “wrong” is inherently correct...
84) Why wear long shorts when you can wear a skirt? It’s only logical...
85) Your place of worship is the closet...
86) You LIVE in the closet, or you take it with you when you go out...
87) You “awoke” to the possibilities some time ago, and you are truly awake...
88) Is it because you were born prematurely? Probably not, but carry on...
89) You’d rather be in the company of females, and skip the male bonding rituals...
90) You hold your truths to be self-evident...
91) You know the art of compromise, so you give way gracefully (even to your “self”)...
92) You found a hidden doorway many years ago, and you are curious by nature...
93) You listened to yourself when you said “I’ve got to get out of here!”
94) You like to stay within yourself, where the genders dance together...
95) You are the most interesting boy on the block...
96) You like challenges, and this qualifies as a really difficult challenge...
97) You found yourself one day, and it turned out to be YOU all along...
98) You need impossible dreams to survive...
99) You want to be ALL you can be, and you can be anything you WANT to be...
100) It’s FUN!!!

Well, that’s enough for now. Please feel free to add to my list of reasons any way you see fit – I don’t know why I write these things, but it has a lot to do with insomnia, I think. In case you’re wondering, many of the reasons on this list echo my own reasons for crossdressing, with a few notable exceptions. I am merely Freddy, a work-in-progress, and I am thankful for your support, my dear sisters...

PS – I am the most interesting boy on the block, but I have very little competition...[/SIZE]



Last edited by Frédérique; 08-17-2011 at 08:26 AM.

Monday, October 23, 2017


In most cases, no treatment is necessary as cross-dressing not considered an illness. If the cross-dressing is out of control and becomes compulsive, then, anti-compulsion drugs are sometimes prescribed.

So, Cross-dressing May Be Biologically Bound--Does This Mean I CANNOT Stop?
Not according to Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist. He espoused that little boys naturally exhibit certain feminine characteristics, which are intrinsic to all people, regardless of gender. He called this feminine side our Anima. However, parents, in an attempt successfully rear their boys into manly men; discourage all displays of the feminine in their sons. These feminine behaviors may be extremely subtle, and the corresponding parental disapproval, perhaps even more so. Jung contends that children are extremely receptive to cues of approval and disapproval. So perhaps a little boy exhibits even a look or a stance, which is perceived as feminine by his parents, and he receives in response, a raised eyebrow, or even a slight frown. This exchange may occur on such a sub-conscious level, that neither the boy, nor his parent, even realizes that it has taken place. However, the young boy registers that transaction in his forming mind, and thus begins the negative association with that natural, feminine part of him, his Anima. He makes sure that he represses all feminine behaviors from that moment on. Alternatively, does he? Jung sustained that it is impossible to thwart something that is intrinsic to our nature, such as our inherent masculine and feminine traits (in Jungian thought, those being the Animus and Anima, respectively). The outward manifestation of the Anima will surface again, and often, when it does, it can be in traditionally unacceptable ways, such as cross-dressing. In Jungian psychology, however, the act of cross-dressing is a path toward embracing one's Anima, and a very pivotal part of the human experience and growth process. However, cross-dressing is but a stepping-stone toward self-actualization. The complete man, is one who may go through a period of embracing his feminine side by way of cross-dressing, but who also eventually transforms into neither masculine nor feminine, but rather becomes a new being, a very healthy embodiment of both. Jung contends that the man that allows himself to cross-dress, as a healthy vehicle toward to the ultimate acceptance and integration of his feminine self, will eventually no longer need to cross-dress, once those two facets of his being, the Anima and the Animus merge. Jung contends that the man who is stuck in the cross-dressing phase of his life experiences arrested development.

Is cross-dressing/transvestism a disorder?
Clinicians classify “transvestic fetishism” under the category of “gender identity disorder,” according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-4.  It is not considered a problem unless “the fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. When a male goes to therapy for transvestism, it is not because he wants to be “fixed,” most likely he just wants to be accepted.  The clinician may try to address depression that is often associated with the inability to fulfill satisfactorily the need to cross-dress.  Moreover, when a couple goes to a therapist, it is most likely to address how the cross-dressing has affected the relationship, but not to “cure” the individual.

Is There a Cure?
There is no cure for Cross-dressing for the simple reason that Cross-dressing is not an illness but a state of being. Cross-dressers are-"born and not made". Think of it this way - if you always desired to have the Tagalong type of cookie and your friend always desired the Lemonade type of cookie. However, something happened in society that suddenly made desiring the Tagalong type of cookie not "socially acceptable" by societal norms. Does that also suddenly stop making you desire the Tagalong type of cookie? Has desiring Tagalong cookies suddenly become an "illness" that someone else needs to "cure"? Of course not. When viewed with a broader perspective one can see that the desire to cross-dress is also one's personal desire.
The chief adjustment problem cross-dressers face is societal attitudes. While these have been changing since cross-dressers appeared on the Donahue Show in 1987, acceptance is far from complete. Because of possible consequences to families, jobs and friends, many cross-dressers live shrouded in secrecy. Some cross-dressers deny their feminine side and dispose of their clothing, only to return to cross-dressing later, frustrated by the amputation of so significant a part of their personality.  Some seek therapy, but as many therapists are not knowledgeable about cross-gender issues, cross dressers sometimes find themselves educating the therapist rather than getting the help they seek. Nor are psychiatric drugs of benefit. There is no “cure” for cross-dressing, and most cross-dressers do not want one!

What Type of People are Cross-dressers?
Cross-dressers come from all occupations and every stratum of society. Spouses, parents, children and friends are Cross-dressers. There are no distinctions. Cross-dressers come from all occupations, races, creeds, and economic backgrounds. The phenomenon dates back many thousands of years. In some cultures, especially some Native American tribes, they were highly respected as shamans. Most cross-dressers are well educated and come from conventional family backgrounds. The clear majority is heterosexual and most are, or have been, married. Most are happy in their masculinity, and only a small percentage opts to live as women full time. A few women are cross-dressers, but they are much less numerous than their male counterparts. Perhaps this is due to the relative latitude society grants to women in matters of dress and self-expression.
· Hua Mulan· Pope Joan · Joan of Arc · Anne Bonny and Mary Read  Bonnie Prince Charlie · Chevalier d'Eon  · George Sand (Amandine-Aurore-Lucile Dupin)  · Dorothy Lawrence  · Rrose Sélavy,· J. S. G. Boggs · Yasumasa Morimura · Grayson Perry  · Billy Tipton  · Willmer "Little Ax" Broadnax · Edward Hyde, 3rd Earl of Clarendon · Eddie Izzard
See List of Transgendered people at http://zagria.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html

Can one make a crossdresser stop?
http://crossdressersociety.com/crossdressing-faq
This is probably the worst thing anyone can do. Forcing them to stop and purging their feminine side could have disastrous consequences. Most likely he would binge later on as the cross-dressing urge would be even stronger. Besides the pressure will still be there and could lead to violent break outs or emotional distress. There is no “cure” for cross-dressing, and most cross-dressers do not want one!

Because of possible consequences to families, jobs, and friends, many cross-dressers live shrouded in secrecy. Burdened by fear and guilt, some cross-dressers deny their feminine side and dispose of their clothing. Usually they are frustrated by this elimination of a significant part of their personalities, and eventually return to feminine self-expression. Some seek therapy, but as many therapists are not knowledgeable about cross gender issues, they sometimes find themselves educating the therapist rather than getting the help they seek. Nor are psychiatric drugs of benefit.

Can Cross-dressing Be "Cured"?
http://www.tri-ess.org/cd01.html
The chief adjustment problem cross-dressers face is societal attitudes.  While these have been changing since cross-dressers appeared on the Donahue Show in 1987, acceptance is far from complete.  Because of possible consequences to families, jobs and friends, many cross-dressers live shrouded in secrecy.  Some cross-dressers deny their feminine side and dispose of their clothing, only to return to cross-dressing later, frustrated by the amputation of so significant a part of their personality.  Some seek therapy, but as many therapists are not knowledgeable about cross gender issues, cross dressers sometimes find themselves educating the therapist rather than getting the help they seek.  Nor are psychiatric drugs of benefit. There is no “cure” for cross-dressing, and most cross-dressers do not want one!
There are several theories but they are all inconclusive.  There are no scientifically substantiated genetic or organic causes for transvestism.  The latest research suggests that it is a psychological condition.

What is the difference between transvestites and transsexuals?
Transvestites have a need to wear clothing normally worn by women, and to look like women.  Transsexuals want to ‘be’ women.  Transvestites may use padding, silicone, and makeup to look like women but never alter their physical appearance.  Transsexuals may take hormones to reshape their bodies, grow real breasts, and some may opt to have sex reassignment surgery.  According to Vernon Coleman’s survey of 1,016 cross-dressers, most men (77%) do not have an interest in changing sex.  They are perfectly comfortable being males.

What Cross-dressers (TRANSVESTITES) Are Not
While many cross-dressers are ordinary heterosexual men with an additional feminine dimension, they are stereotyped by society based on a highly visible minority who cross-dress for entirely different reasons.
The widely accepted theory that transvestites are homosexual is absurdly persistent and it is one of the reasons why so many cross-dressers are secretive about what they do. Many transvestites are staunchly heterosexual. Eight out of ten men who cross-dress have had only heterosexual experiences. The incidence of homosexuality is much the same among transvestites as it is among the rest of the male population.
The Marjory of people believes that transvestites are men that have not gone through with the surgery to become female. Most men who cross-dress want to remain male; they have no interest in or enthusiasm for changing sex. Over 77% of cross-dressers have no interest in changing sex.

Does Cross-dressing Influence Sexuality?
A person's sexual preference or sexuality is independent of their mental gender identity. Human sexual diversity exists amongst Cross-dressers in the same basic proportions as it does in the general community. In fact, as Cross-dressers are part of the general community, your "average" Cross-dresser is likely to be heterosexual, to have married and have children.

What is it Like Being a Cross-dresser?
Most Cross-dressers discover their need to cross-dress during childhood. They have no idea why they feel the way they do, yet quickly find that the expression of this part of their nature results in reprimand and alienation from parents, family and friends - the people they love and value the most. This can result in the development of unreasonable feelings of unhealthy personal shame.
So most, Cross-dressers become secretive about their Cross-dressing and, doing their best to deny and suppress this essential part of their being, grow fulfilling themselves as human being in all the other ways they can. However, being a Cross-dresser does not "go away" any more than the essential self-can ever go away. Sustained denial of the expression of this essential self can result in severe emotional disturbance.
Shame, fear and loneliness find expression in thought with such questions as - "Would my best friends, workmates, family, father / mother, wife / partner and my children still want me and love me if they knew this part of me or would they reject me with scorn or fear?".
Many Cross--dressers ultimately find it impossible and intolerable to exist like this. They feel compelled to learn about themselves and to "open up" to the significant others in their lives. Rejection may occur; most often Cross-dressers are surprised at the level of acceptance they receive, which so often reflects the level of their own self-acceptance. They liberate themselves to enjoy the exhilaration of the expression of this essential part of their being through Cross-dressing.
On a much more positive note, most Cross Dressers are more loving, sympathetic, and compassionate. They are gentle, caring and nurturing people. They are very sensitive and have a strong desire to share their feelings and respond to the needs of others.

What Should You Do If You Know a Cross-dresser?
Be open-minded. Be prepared to learn some sensible realities about cross-dressing.
Above all, know and remind yourself that being a Cross-dresser will not change the child, the partner, parent or friend you know and maybe love, into someone different. After all the only real difference is that, you know! Continue to see the individual person and allow yourself the gifts of an open heart and open mind!

Isn't Cross-Dressing Just a Step to Sexual Reassignment?
Again, the answer is a resounding NO. In fact, the NO cannot be made sufficiently emphatic. Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) or Sex Change Surgery" as it is sometimes called, is quite another thing. This is a sexual thing at the very core. Diagnostically, the person from the very earliest ages, many even before the onset of puberty, is aware of a feeling most commonly said to be "trapped in the wrong body" in a sexual identity dysphoric condition. Such people are diagnosed as "Transsexuals" for their fundamental feeling set has equally deep roots, which are quite apart from clothing and are directed to their anatomical structures and many times to the sexual anatomy of those to whom they are attracted sexually. This condition is recognized as a medical condition which is commonly treated by long-term psychotherapy, long-term hormonal therapy and finally by surgical alteration of the person's external genitalia. This condition is found in both those born female and those born male. The predominance is among males. A terribly distressing situation has arisen in conjunction with the proliferation in recent years of the so-called "Gender Clinics" (a terribly misnomer, as it were) and the relative ease with which many individuals have been admitted to the surgical suites. This has led to a phenomenon in which borderline individuals have sought to bolster their own decision to assume the identity and goals of the true transsexual by "recruiting" and otherwise influencing other insecure, confused, and often gullible individuals to set forth on the same course of action. This has been encouraged it seems, by some individuals in the "Gender Clinic" business for obvious reasons. SRS is not inexpensive....


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Before and After the weight reduction surgery

Before on the left, after seven month photo on the right, lost 36 lbs.  You might not see a big change but it feels nice.

Before on the left, where I had a belly, now it is just loose skin.  My tits are smaller.

Here you can see where I have lost a lot of belly, before on left
.I still have 14 lbs to loose by the time I go back to the US in April.  I also have a operation to remove the hernia and replace the mesh, that will make my stomach flatter.




Saturday, September 23, 2017

FAQ Question about Illness or cure


In most cases, no treatment is necessary as cross-dressing not considered an illness. If the cross-dressing is out of control and becomes compulsive, then, anti-compulsion drugs are sometimes prescribed.

So, Cross-dressing May Be Biologically Bound--Does This Mean I CANNOT Stop?
Not according to Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist. He espoused that little boys naturally exhibit certain feminine characteristics, which are intrinsic to all people, regardless of gender. He called this feminine side our Anima. However, parents, in an attempt successfully rear their boys into manly men; discourage all displays of the feminine in their sons. These feminine behaviors may be extremely subtle, and the corresponding parental disapproval, perhaps even more so. Jung contends that children are extremely receptive to cues of approval and disapproval. So perhaps a little boy exhibits even a look or a stance, which is perceived as feminine by his parents, and he receives in response, a raised eyebrow, or even a slight frown. This exchange may occur on such a sub-conscious level, that neither the boy, nor his parent, even realizes that it has taken place. However, the young boy registers that transaction in his forming mind, and thus begins the negative association with that natural, feminine part of him, his Anima. He makes sure that he represses all feminine behaviors from that moment on. Alternatively, does he? Jung sustained that it is impossible to thwart something that is intrinsic to our nature, such as our inherent masculine and feminine traits (in Jungian thought, those being the Animus and Anima, respectively). The outward manifestation of the Anima will surface again, and often, when it does, it can be in traditionally unacceptable ways, such as cross-dressing. In Jungian psychology, however, the act of cross-dressing is a path toward embracing one's Anima, and a very pivotal part of the human experience and growth process. However, cross-dressing is but a stepping-stone toward self-actualization. The complete man, is one who may go through a period of embracing his feminine side by way of cross-dressing, but who also eventually transforms into neither masculine nor feminine, but rather becomes a new being, a very healthy embodiment of both. Jung contends that the man that allows himself to cross-dress, as a healthy vehicle toward to the ultimate acceptance and integration of his feminine self, will eventually no longer need to cross-dress, once those two facets of his being, the Anima and the Animus merge. Jung contends that the man who is stuck in the cross-dressing phase of his life experiences arrested development.

Is cross-dressing/transvestism a disorder?
Clinicians classify “transvestic fetishism” under the category of “gender identity disorder,” according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-4.  It is not considered a problem unless “the fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. When a male goes to therapy for transvestism, it is not because he wants to be “fixed,” most likely he just wants to be accepted.  The clinician may try to address depression that is often associated with the inability to fulfill satisfactorily the need to cross-dress.  Moreover, when a couple goes to a therapist, it is most likely to address how the cross-dressing has affected the relationship, but not to “cure” the individual.

Is There a Cure?
There is no cure for Cross-dressing for the simple reason that Cross-dressing is not an illness but a state of being. Cross-dressers are-"born and not made". Think of it this way - if you always desired to have the Tagalong type of cookie and your friend always desired the Lemonade type of cookie. However, something happened in society that suddenly made desiring the Tagalong type of cookie not "socially acceptable" by societal norms. Does that also suddenly stop making you desire the Tagalong type of cookie? Has desiring Tagalong cookies suddenly become an "illness" that someone else needs to "cure"? Of course not. When viewed with a broader perspective one can see that the desire to cross-dress is also one's personal desire.
The chief adjustment problem cross-dressers face is societal attitudes. While these have been changing since cross-dressers appeared on the Donahue Show in 1987, acceptance is far from complete. Because of possible consequences to families, jobs and friends, many cross-dressers live shrouded in secrecy. Some cross-dressers deny their feminine side and dispose of their clothing, only to return to cross-dressing later, frustrated by the amputation of so significant a part of their personality.  Some seek therapy, but as many therapists are not knowledgeable about cross-gender issues, cross dressers sometimes find themselves educating the therapist rather than getting the help they seek. Nor are psychiatric drugs of benefit. There is no “cure” for cross-dressing, and most cross-dressers do not want one!

What Type of People are Cross-dressers?
Cross-dressers come from all occupations and every stratum of society. Spouses, parents, children and friends are Cross-dressers. There are no distinctions. Cross-dressers come from all occupations, races, creeds, and economic backgrounds. The phenomenon dates back many thousands of years. In some cultures, especially some Native American tribes, they were highly respected as shamans. Most cross-dressers are well educated and come from conventional family backgrounds. The clear majority is heterosexual and most are, or have been, married. Most are happy in their masculinity, and only a small percentage opts to live as women full time. A few women are cross-dressers, but they are much less numerous than their male counterparts. Perhaps this is due to the relative latitude society grants to women in matters of dress and self-expression.
· Hua Mulan· Pope Joan · Joan of Arc · Anne Bonny and Mary Read  Bonnie Prince Charlie · Chevalier d'Eon  · George Sand (Amandine-Aurore-Lucile Dupin)  · Dorothy Lawrence  · Rrose Sélavy,· J. S. G. Boggs · Yasumasa Morimura · Grayson Perry  · Billy Tipton  · Willmer "Little Ax" Broadnax · Edward Hyde, 3rd Earl of Clarendon · Eddie Izzard
See List of Transgendered people at http://zagria.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html

Can one make a crossdresser stop?
http://crossdressersociety.com/crossdressing-faq
This is probably the worst thing anyone can do. Forcing them to stop and purging their feminine side could have disastrous consequences. Most likely he would binge later on as the cross-dressing urge would be even stronger. Besides the pressure will still be there and could lead to violent break outs or emotional distress. There is no “cure” for cross-dressing, and most cross-dressers do not want one!

Because of possible consequences to families, jobs, and friends, many cross-dressers live shrouded in secrecy. Burdened by fear and guilt, some cross-dressers deny their feminine side and dispose of their clothing. Usually they are frustrated by this elimination of a significant part of their personalities, and eventually return to feminine self-expression. Some seek therapy, but as many therapists are not knowledgeable about cross gender issues, they sometimes find themselves educating the therapist rather than getting the help they seek. Nor are psychiatric drugs of benefit.

Can Cross-dressing Be "Cured"?
http://www.tri-ess.org/cd01.html
The chief adjustment problem cross-dressers face is societal attitudes.  While these have been changing since cross-dressers appeared on the Donahue Show in 1987, acceptance is far from complete.  Because of possible consequences to families, jobs and friends, many cross-dressers live shrouded in secrecy.  Some cross-dressers deny their feminine side and dispose of their clothing, only to return to cross-dressing later, frustrated by the amputation of so significant a part of their personality.  Some seek therapy, but as many therapists are not knowledgeable about cross gender issues, cross dressers sometimes find themselves educating the therapist rather than getting the help they seek.  Nor are psychiatric drugs of benefit. There is no “cure” for cross-dressing, and most cross-dressers do not want one!
There are several theories but they are all inconclusive.  There are no scientifically substantiated genetic or organic causes for transvestism.  The latest research suggests that it is a psychological condition.

What is the difference between transvestites and transsexuals?
Transvestites have a need to wear clothing normally worn by women, and to look like women.  Transsexuals want to ‘be’ women.  Transvestites may use padding, silicone, and makeup to look like women but never alter their physical appearance.  Transsexuals may take hormones to reshape their bodies, grow real breasts, and some may opt to have sex reassignment surgery.  According to Vernon Coleman’s survey of 1,016 cross-dressers, most men (77%) do not have an interest in changing sex.  They are perfectly comfortable being males.

What Cross-dressers (TRANSVESTITES) Are Not
While many cross-dressers are ordinary heterosexual men with an additional feminine dimension, they are stereotyped by society based on a highly visible minority who cross-dress for entirely different reasons.
The widely accepted theory that transvestites are homosexual is absurdly persistent and it is one of the reasons why so many cross-dressers are secretive about what they do. Many transvestites are staunchly heterosexual. Eight out of ten men who cross-dress have had only heterosexual experiences. The incidence of homosexuality is much the same among transvestites as it is among the rest of the male population.
The Marjory of people believes that transvestites are men that have not gone through with the surgery to become female. Most men who cross-dress want to remain male; they have no interest in or enthusiasm for changing sex. Over 77% of cross-dressers have no interest in changing sex.

Does Cross-dressing Influence Sexuality?
A person's sexual preference or sexuality is independent of their mental gender identity. Human sexual diversity exists amongst Cross-dressers in the same basic proportions as it does in the general community. In fact, as Cross-dressers are part of the general community, your "average" Cross-dresser is likely to be heterosexual, to have married and have children.

What is it Like Being a Cross-dresser?
Most Cross-dressers discover their need to cross-dress during childhood. They have no idea why they feel the way they do, yet quickly find that the expression of this part of their nature results in reprimand and alienation from parents, family and friends - the people they love and value the most. This can result in the development of unreasonable feelings of unhealthy personal shame.
So most, Cross-dressers become secretive about their Cross-dressing and, doing their best to deny and suppress this essential part of their being, grow fulfilling themselves as human being in all the other ways they can. However, being a Cross-dresser does not "go away" any more than the essential self-can ever go away. Sustained denial of the expression of this essential self can result in severe emotional disturbance.
Shame, fear and loneliness find expression in thought with such questions as - "Would my best friends, workmates, family, father / mother, wife / partner and my children still want me and love me if they knew this part of me or would they reject me with scorn or fear?".
Many Cross--dressers ultimately find it impossible and intolerable to exist like this. They feel compelled to learn about themselves and to "open up" to the significant others in their lives. Rejection may occur; most often Cross-dressers are surprised at the level of acceptance they receive, which so often reflects the level of their own self-acceptance. They liberate themselves to enjoy the exhilaration of the expression of this essential part of their being through Cross-dressing.
On a much more positive note, most Cross Dressers are more loving, sympathetic, and compassionate. They are gentle, caring and nurturing people. They are very sensitive and have a strong desire to share their feelings and respond to the needs of others.

What Should You Do If You Know a Cross-dresser?
Be open-minded. Be prepared to learn some sensible realities about cross-dressing.
Above all, know and remind yourself that being a Cross-dresser will not change the child, the partner, parent or friend you know and maybe love, into someone different. After all the only real difference is that, you know! Continue to see the individual person and allow yourself the gifts of an open heart and open mind!

Isn't Cross-Dressing Just a Step to Sexual Reassignment?
Again, the answer is a resounding NO. In fact, the NO cannot be made sufficiently emphatic. Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) or Sex Change Surgery" as it is sometimes called, is quite another thing. This is a sexual thing at the very core. Diagnostically, the person from the very earliest ages, many even before the onset of puberty, is aware of a feeling most commonly said to be "trapped in the wrong body" in a sexual identity dysphoric condition. Such people are diagnosed as "Transsexuals" for their fundamental feeling set has equally deep roots, which are quite apart from clothing and are directed to their anatomical structures and many times to the sexual anatomy of those to whom they are attracted sexually. This condition is recognized as a medical condition which is commonly treated by long-term psychotherapy, long-term hormonal therapy and finally by surgical alteration of the person's external genitalia. This condition is found in both those born female and those born male. The predominance is among males. A terribly distressing situation has arisen in conjunction with the proliferation in recent years of the so-called "Gender Clinics" (a terribly misnomer, as it were) and the relative ease with which many individuals have been admitted to the surgical suites. This has led to a phenomenon in which borderline individuals have sought to bolster their own decision to assume the identity and goals of the true transsexual by "recruiting" and otherwise influencing other insecure, confused, and often gullible individuals to set forth on the same course of action. This has been encouraged it seems, by some individuals in the "Gender Clinic" business for obvious reasons. SRS is not inexpensive....