Being a bottom

Admires love to meet cross-dressers because they can count on a cross-dresser to do sexual things the wife does not do.  Cross-dresser will suck your cock then swallow your ejaculate.  Many cross-dressers will also bend over for anal sex.

Anal sex is not an activity for everyone.  From surveys on sexual behavior reveal that in the US 40% of men and 35% of women between 25 and 44 had engaged in heterosexual anal sex...  A survey of gay individual indicated that 46% of gay men preferred to penetrate their partners, while 43% preferred to be the receptive partner.  Anal sex  or other expression anal – asshoe – ATM – behymen – bite the pillow – BUFU – buggery – butt diddle – butt fuck – buttlove – cornhole – corn hole – dance the chocolate cha-cha – dookie love – fifth base – Greek – greek sex – have (one's) peanut butter stirred – poke in the brown eye – punch the starfish – red eye – ride the hershey highway – rusty trombone – santorum – slip through the backdoor – take it up the ass.

If you are interested in anal sex, as a top or a bottom you need to know a little about the anus, anal sphincter, rectum, lower intestine, and how to be clean. In preparation for being a bottom you need to explore your anus and some of the sensations it can provide.

The abundance of nerve endings in the anal region and rectum can make anal sex pleasurable for men or women. The internal and external sphincter muscles control the opening and closing of the anus; these muscles, which are sensitive membranes made up of many nerve endings, facilitate pleasure or pain during anal sex. The inner third of the anal canal is less sensitive to touch than the outer two-thirds, but is more sensitive to pressure" and the rectum is a curved tube about eight or nine inches long and has the capacity, like the anus, to expand. The anal cavity is longer that the vaginal canal and men of a larger size can penetrate deeper in an ass than a pussy.

The rectum is a muscular tube, about 7"-8" deep. There are two sphincters at the anal opening, about a half inch apart, as well as circular muscles lining the length of the rectum. By design, the rectum flexes and contracts both voluntarily and involuntarily. Therefore the "inserter" in anal sex will feel two tight rings that slide up and down the length of the penis as well as a tight, warm, "velvety" tube which holds the penis firmly along it's entire length during sex. This "tube" may also twitch, clamp and pulse. Also, the rectum reacts to penetration by setting up rhythmic contractions which in some cases cause a "massaging" sensation along the shaft of the penis. The sensations described by a man penetrating an anus are usually as follows: Tight, Hot, Velvety, Flexing, Alive, Clenching, Pulling, Nesting, Smooth, Slippery, Firm, Pulling, Clamping, Stimulating...etc.

In a male receptive partner, being anally penetrated can produce a pleasurable sensation due to the inserted penis rubbing or brushing against the prostate (also known as the "male G-Spot", "P-Spot" or "A-Spot") through the anal wall. This can result in pleasurable sensations and can lead to an orgasm in some cases. Prostate stimulation can produce a "deeper" orgasm, sometimes described by men as more widespread and intense, longer-lasting, and allowing for greater feelings of ecstasy than orgasm elicited by penile stimulation only.

To become more familiar the prospect for anal sex, one should explore his body first.  For this exercise you may wish to wear latex, vinyl or Nitrile glove to keep everything clean and easy to clean up. Vinyl or Nitrile glove is great for anal stimulation. The gloves feel smooth and soft on the anus area.  When finished the gloves can be stripped and disposed of easily. Make sure you take the time to find gloves to fit the person giving the massage- the touch will feel much better when the gloves fit taut against the skin. Latex is a developed allergy, degrades over time and can cause uncomfortable reactions in the sensitive tissues of the anus. Vinyl and Nitrile are only a few pennies more per glove, and offer better protection.

The best lubes are tasteless and water soluble for easy clean up. KY Jelly is a common brand of water soluble lube sold in America. Have fun and try out different brands to find one you like. Oil based lubes are more slippery and last longer than water soluble lubes, but they can damage latex rubber condoms. Many products, such as some versions of Vaseline-brand petroleum jelly, can also contain other chemicals, which will irritate your asshole skin.

After you have a bowel movement stand in the bathtub, wash your anus, including just inside, with soap and water. Then lubricate your left index finger with an anal lubricant such as Astroglide or anal ease.  You will need to squat in the bath tub and reach around behind you, in order to reach your anus.  During this part of the exercise you may you may have a funny feeling when you touch your anus knowing what will happen after a few minutes. Rub the outside of the anus to get used to your touch.   

The anal sphincter is a muscle at the opening of the anus that holds tight until you need to expel your wastes.  The anal sphincter is usually a one way valve allowing wastes to pass out but to close shut at other times.  You will have to learn how to relax your anal sphincter.  It is easier said than done.  With a little lube push softly into the rectum pass the anal sphincter.  The index finer is the best finger to use. You’ll feel the sphincter muscles at this point it needs to be relaxed if you want to explore deeper. You can practice to relaxing your anal sphincter then deliberately tighten it. You’ll be surprised how strong they are. Now try to relax again.  Grip your finger then relax the muscles several times.

Now move your finger in deeper. You’ll find the sphincter muscles are wider than you thought.  The muscle will contract and relax on their own around your exploring finger. If they don’t relax, stop for a minute or two then try again.

Once your finger gets beyond the inner sphincter, it enters the rectum, a wider space. With your finger you will notice the change in texture of the lining. Move your finger in and out of your rectum a couple of inches at a time. Remove your finger, breathe deeply, and relax. You have just experienced anal penetration. Wash your hands with soap and water.  If the experience did not gross you out, continue by inserting your finger again. You may notice how easily your finger goes in the second time. 

Try this exercise for several days. When you feel your anus sphincter relaxed enough try inserting a second finger. If you feel the sphincter muscles closing, return to the tightening and relaxing exercises. To continue, only use toys that have been designed for anal penetration.  A trip to your local adult bookstore will provide you a selection of dildos. Do not buy the larger than live dildo, find one that is no more than six inches and small in girth. 

To continue exploring anal sex you will need to find a sexual partner. With this sex partner ask him to do the same exercise.  If the two of you feel comfortable explore his anus with your fingers.

Another thing required for being a bottom for the first time would be to be clean inside. Gay bottoms frequently worry about being "clean down there." Not only is it embarrassing to see shit on a top's dick when he pulls out, but shit is very abrasive, which can make fucking very uncomfortable.

Often, the only thing you will need to do before sex is to wash the outside of the asshole to eliminate any foul odors or tastes. This will be sufficient only if your shits have come out cleanly without leaving anything behind. For many guys, this happens naturally when they eat a healthy low-fat, high-fiber diet and avoid liquor and caffeinated drinks, such as Coke and coffee. Of course, everybody is different and so you will need to experiment with different diets to find one that works.

The best way to determine if you are clean is the "finger test." This is done by inserting a lubed finger in your ass while sitting over a toilet. If you feel any small pieces of shit, you can gently pull them out. Doing this will also pre-lube your ass. Of course, be sure to wash your hands and butt before having sex.

However, if your finger feels messy soft shit inside your ass, you can try washing it out with an enema or douche. Unfortunately, enemas can make things messy because water will often get trapped inside and come gushing out unexpectedly during sex. This is why you should always do anal play over a towel that can be easily laundered. It is also a good idea to have a roll of paper towels and baby wipes nearby to clean up any messes that might occur.

According to some doctors, enemas may harm you and so they should be used sparingly, if at all. Disposable enema bottles can be easily purchased in most drug stores. The Fleet brand is commonly available in the U.S.A. They come pre-filled with harsh chemicals that can give you cramps during sex. To avoid any problems, I will pour the chemicals out and refill the bottle with clean water. Be sure to use bottled water if your tap water is unsafe to drink.

Physically, all you need to do is to clean yourself out is to dose yourself with a small enema. After filling the enema bottle or rubber bulb with clean water, lube the tip and gently insert it in your ass. Slowly squeeze the bottle to squirt water inside. Pull the tip out before letting go to prevent water from being sucked back into the bottle. Hold the water inside for a while before dumping it in the toilet. You may need to do this several times until the water runs clean.

Another alternative is to use the small rubber bulb that comes with ear wax removal kits. It will hold a smaller amount of water, which makes it less likely that water will get trapped inside your ass. Some men find that a squirt from an ear syringe does the job well enough.

A cleaning technique I use is to stick a lubed finger in and swish the enema water around to remove any shit stuck to the sides. The pieces knocked off will then easily come out when you dump the water. I repeat as needed and wash my hands and butt to finish cleaning up.

Guys who are heavy into anal play, such as fisting, often use shower attachments that can be stuck up the butt to provide a pressure wash. They do a good job of cleaning, but when used incorrectly they can cause bleeding, which might require an embarrassing ambulance ride to the hospital emergency room.

The downside of washing out with water is that water can be left behind and most lube is water soluble - in other words your water soluble lubricant will become diluted leading to very raw ass if too much water is still there.

Another method is to drink magnesium citrate.  It’s used before major surgery or colonoscopy to clean out EVERYTHING.  I try to use this at least 24 hours beforehand, but if necessary just the night before.  I take it on an empty stomach and then drink a big glass of water.  And then stay very close to the toilet for the next several hours.  To put it bluntly this stuff cleans out all of your intestines.

Doing this a day in advance gives everything a chance to come out on its own and for my ass to settle down.  You still need to do a finger check just beforehand, too.

The other option is modify your diet.  Two days before you eat only salads and foods high in fiber. You need to drink protein shakes and lots of water.  Try to get calories while using natural laxatives that won’t produce a lot more shit.  Then the day before don’t eat, only drink clear liquids, and do a couple of enemas (one in the morning and another that night).  The day you plan on playing eat light, but still more on the liquid side (protein shakes work best for me).  And of course, do a finger check just before.

You should also have condoms ready, and always insist that your partner uses them. It is strongly advised you not to drink alcohol heavily or to use mind-altering drugs at this time. They may interfere with good judgment about safe sex. Choose whatever lubricant you generally use.

Oddly the most recommended position for "First Time" anal sex is with the top laying on their back with the bottom "riding" the penis from on top, in order to control the speed and depth of penetration. After a couple minutes of gentle thrusting any pain for the recipient generally subsides, supplanted by other deeply sexual sensations as either the prostate (in men) or the vaginal nerves ( in women) are stimulated by the stroking action of the penis. As each partner gains experience with anal sex, different positions and penetrations can be tried.